Today is the yahrtzeit of Rachel Imeinu. The Torah tells us about the tremendous pain that Rachel went through during the years she couldn't have children.
But Rachel utilized the gift of tefillah and prayed emotional tefillot, and the Torah tells us that Hashem listened to her tefillot and gave her a child. Throughout all the years of waiting, Rachel continued turning to Hashem, and when the time was right, her yeshuah arrived.
A woman from Jerusalem named Rachel, who works as a kindergarten teacher, shared a personal story in an interview in honor of Rachel Imeinu's yahrtzeit. She said that she was 21 when she got married, and she and her husband, who both came from large families, dreamed of having a large family of their own. She naturally assumed that after she got married, she would start having children, but two years went by and nothing happened. She finally started fertility treatments, but the years passed without any success.
Rachel explained that throughout those years, she believed Hashem was going to give her children at the right time, but that doesn't mean she didn't suffer until it happened. There were weeks when she was filled with hope and emunah, and other weeks when she was so disappointed. She described how painful it was to undergo another treatment, pray with all her heart, get berachot from rabbis, try different segulot, and then find out that once again, it didn't work. Every time she got her hopes up, it was followed by another disappointment.
She mentioned a painful incident. She and her husband were visiting her mother-in-law shortly after they had another unsuccessful treatment. During the conversation, her mother-in-law mentioned that Rachel's sister-in-law, who got married four years after her, was now expecting her second child.
Rachel couldn't stop herself. She started crying uncontrollably right there in front of her mother-in-law. She said how embarrassing it was, but the pain was just too much. And it wasn't only the treatments that were difficult. Her siblings were having children year after year. When they invited Rachel and her husband for Shabbat, she sometimes felt that they were being treated like a poor, childless couple who needed a place to go. She explained that one of the most painful feelings a person can experience is being pitied.
She didn't want people to look at her as though something was wrong with her. She just wanted to be treated like everybody else. When she was asked what helped her get through the difficult years, she said, for starters, her parents were so supportive.
They never pressured her. They never offered advice on their own. They never brought up the subject of children unless she wanted to discuss it.
They treated her just like everybody else, and that was such a big help to her. Sometimes, she said, people think they have to say something to make another person feel better, but very often, the greatest kindness is just to make that person feel normal and respected.
Rachel also said that hearing stories of other people who had waited years and eventually had children gave her so much chizuk. Once, she met a woman on a bus who told her that her mother waited four years for her first child and eventually had 14 children. Stories like that gave Rachel hope for her own life.
She also found comfort in being a kindergarten teacher. Every day, she was surrounded by children whom she loved, but she admitted that coming home at the end of the day to an empty, silent apartment was so painful.
After seven years of waiting, Rachel and her husband were advised to take a break from the pressures of all the treatments and spend some time together away. They took a few trips, and another rabbi suggested that they move apartments.
Shortly after returning from a trip, during the month they moved from Betar to Yerushalayim, Rachel discovered she was expecting her first child. And it wasn't just one baby; it was twins. And those twins were the beginning of a beautiful family.
By the time she gave this interview, she already had eight children.
But perhaps the most meaningful part of her story was what she said about the seven long years of waiting. She said that she and her husband used that time to strengthen their marriage and develop a deeper relationship with Hashem.
She appreciated all of the heartfelt tefillot that she was able to make, which usually doesn't happen when things are going smoothly. She appreciated the gift of children in a completely different way afterward.
Before she had children, she was an interior designer, and her apartment was kept like a museum. Later, with a house full of children, the walls and furniture were scratched and scribbled on, but it didn't bother her at all. She was so happy that her home was no longer a museum; it was a home filled with life.
And then she added an emunah lesson that she learned.
She said Hashem has a uniquely designed path for every person. We can never compare our lives to someone else's. Just because another person received something earlier than us doesn't mean Hashem forgot about us.
She also emphasized that we have a choice in how we live during the waiting. We could allow those years to be consumed by bitterness and resentment, or we could use them to grow closer to Hashem and become stronger people.
Rachel Imeinu waited for years, and then the Torah tells us that when the time was right, Hashem gave her salvation. Rache Imenu taught us the power of continuing to turn to Hashem no matter how long a person has to wait. And instead of pitying ourselves, this woman has taught us how much we could accomplish during the years of waiting: strengthening our marriage, developing a better relationship with Hashem, and learning to appreciate blessings.
We may not be able to choose when our difficulties will end, but we could choose what we accomplish while going through them. Every tefillah is so precious. Every effort to strengthen our emunah is so valuable.
We should never lose hope, no matter how long a situation has been going on. Hashem can always change anything in a moment. And in the meantime, we could accomplish so much by the way we choose to go through the challenge.