The process of Shidduchim can be very difficult. There could be long periods of waiting, suggestions that seem to go nowhere, and times when a person wonders how the right Shidduch will ever come about.
But there is something very comforting to always remember. The Yad Hashem is so prevalent when it comes to Shidduchim. Hashem is involved not only in bringing the right people together, but also in making sure that it happens at exactly the right time.
A young man got married at the age of 30 to a girl in her 20s. They came from completely different backgrounds, to the point that one would have never imagined such a match being made. Yet when they finally met, things progressed very quickly, and Baruch Hashem, they got married and are very happy together.
It turned out that this same Shidduch had been suggested two years earlier, and at that time the boy's mother was so taken aback by the difference in backgrounds that she immediately said no. A year after the wedding, the young man was sitting together with his wife and mother when the subject came up. He said, "Ma, why did you say no two years ago? You caused me two extra years of agony. We could have been married that entire time."
His wife immediately interjected. "No, you don't understand," she said. "If this would have been suggested to me two years ago, I never would have agreed to it. So many things happened to me during those two years that completely changed my perspective. Only when the Shidduch was suggested at this time was I ready to consider someone from such a different background."
What appeared to be a missed opportunity was actually Hashem's perfect timing. The Shidduch was there all along, but it had to wait until the perfect moment when both sides were ready for it.
Hashem also has endless ways of bringing two people together, even people whose paths would seemingly never cross. There's a rabbi in a girls' school who started exercising a couple of years ago because his doctor said he needed to stay in shape. Someone helping the rabbi got him a trainer, and this trainer sometimes works with two people at once. For more than a year, the rabbi regularly trained alongside a certain young man.
Over that time, he had an opportunity to see this boy up close. He saw his fine middot, his character, and that he was a true ben Torah. Eventually, when one of the girls from his school was ready for Shidduchim, the rabbi thought of this boy. Based on their different backgrounds and circles, it was a match that ordinarily would never have been suggested. But because Hashem arranged for this rabbi to exercise alongside this young man for more than a year, he knew who the boy really was. He suggested the Shidduch, and Baruch Hashem, the two were perfect for each other and are now happily married.
Sometimes Hashem will even use a mistake to bring couples together. A boy was suggested to a girl who was just starting out in Shidduchim. She found out that the boy was a few months younger and was hesitant to proceed. She wanted someone older and more mature. But she was encouraged not to reject such a good suggestion over a couple of months. So she agreed to go out, and Baruch Hashem, they saw that they were perfect for each other and eventually got engaged.
Only afterward did the families discover something amazing. The boy wasn't a few months younger. He was almost a full year younger. How did everyone get the age wrong? The Shadchan who suggested it was Israeli, and the date of the boy's birthday was misunderstood because dates are written differently in Israel and America.
For example, imagine the girl's birthday was December 15, 2002, and the boy's was December 3, 2003. In Israel, his birthday would be written 3-12-03, meaning December 3. But read the American way, that same date means March 12, 2003. Instead of knowing that the boy was almost a year younger, the Shadchan thought he was less than three months younger.
By the time they discovered the mistake, the girl already knew that this boy was perfect for her and that the concerns she had were not concerns at all. Hashem made it that the Shadchan for this particular couple had to be Israeli because He knew exactly what was necessary to bring the Shidduch about.
When it comes to Shidduchim, we never have to figure out how it's going to happen. We don't have to worry that maybe the right person won't be suggested or maybe an opportunity will be missed. Hashem knows exactly how to bring people together. He knows when to bring them together. And when the time is right, He makes it happen.
And if a person needs to wait, that's also Yad Hashem. Knowing that Hashem is involved in every single detail can give us a calmer feeling, even though the process itself may be difficult.