Yesterday we quoted from the Michtav M’Eliyahu, that we love people that we give to, because we love ourselves. When we give to somebody, that somebody becomes an extension of ourselves. This may sound a little selfish.
Here is another eye-opening concept, which complements this point:
The sefer Bircat Shemuel, by the great prewar Rosh Yeshiva of Kaminetz, Rav Baruch Ber Lebowitz, says that even though Ahavat Atzmo/ loving yourself ( which seems selfish) is the source of sin and all evil in the world (because it’s not a good trait) yet we see that God put into us this concept of Ahavat Atzmo loving ourselves. So obviously God wants it, if that is our nature. It’s the most basic nature. If there was a danger in the room, you would run out because you’d want to protect yourself. This is the most basic instinct of a human being. So how do we use it in a positive way ?
The answer is, we need to define what is Atzmo? Who are You?
You love yourself, but what or who is included in you?
For one person, it is just him, limited to his body and his materialistic self. Another person’s “self” might include his soul. That’s better than a self that just includes the body.
But another person’s self includes his family, and his relatives. His love for himself encompasses his family.
Then, for a person that is really great, his self includes the Jewish people. He views himself as a limb of the larger body.
Rav Baruch Ber says that there is an even higher level, when the person’s self encompasses the entire universe, and he is just a little spark of the universe, bringing glory to God‘s name.
This, he says, is how we can understand why God put into us the trait of loving ourselves. You can’t change it. You can’t say that you don’t love yourself. But what you can do is extend your self. What are you? Broaden your self; make your self larger. How can you do that? By giving. The more you give, the bigger your self becomes. That is the secret. And giving does not only mean physical giving.
I once heard from Rav Wolbe, that when a young man is learning Torah, he should be thinking that he is learning for the Jewish people, not just for himself. He should be thinking that he is learning in order to bring beracha to the world.
With every mitzvah that you do, and every thing that you do, you should think about what you are giving to the world.
It says that the whole world stands on a person that learns Torah.
If there would be no learning, for even a split second, the world would cease to exist.
When a person’s attitude is such, then his self is bigger. When his self is bigger, his love of himself includes much more than just him.
This is a very, very deep concept.
Hopefully, this brief essay explained it clearly.
Have a wonderful day.