There is a beautiful story about Rav Scheinberg in his biography (page 304).
A group of Roshei Yeshiva were discussing an issue that was prevalent in today’s society, the topic of Bitul, which literally means “to annul,” but is the tendency to belittle others. In attempting to get to the bottom of this problem, they came up with reasons for this spiritual ailment. These Roshei Yeshiva were trying to figure out how to better help their students. One of them said that it comes from insecurity; Disparaging other people makes one feel better about himself. A second suggested that it stems from immaturity. When someone is immature they knock others. A third said that learning more Mussar would affect their character traits. Rav Scheinberg‘s answer was that it came from a lack of Lev Tov/An absence of a good heart. A person with a sufficient amount of goodness in the heart will never knock anybody or speak Lashon Hara. If there is not enough goodness in one’s heart, he said almost sarcastically, the page of their Sefer Chafetz Chaim (the book of laws on Lashon Hara) which permits Lashon Hara for seven constructive reasons, would be worn ragged.
In other words, if you don’t have a good heart you will find all the excuses in the world, halachically and legally, to speak Lashon Hara. Therefore, we have to work on Lev Tov, to have a giving good heart.
Rav Wolbe said something similar, that Lashon Hara literally means A Bad Tongue- there is badness in the tongue, and therefore they can’t speak goodness. Rav Wolbe told the story of a time that he was visiting someone in Switzerland, and there was Baalat Hessed, a kind and giving woman, was there. Any time something of Lashon Hara came up, she immediately turned the story around into something positive. Rav Wolbe said he saw from this women that her goodness did not allow her to speak Lashon Hara.
So we when we are trying to figure out ways to stop speaking Lashon Hara , and ways to stop knocking people, we have to work on the source, which is to have a Lev Tov, a good giving heart. Of course, that in itself is a job. We have to work on giving to others and by giving, your heart becomes a giving heart.
Just focus on the symptoms, without focusing on the source, will never heal the problem.
Lev Tov, a good heart.
Have a wonderful day.