The Gemara in Ketubot (17a) tells us the following story, said over by Rabbi Zerah: There was a great rabbi, Rav Shemuel bar Rav Yitzhak, who would dance in front of a Kallah and juggle hadasim, and Rabbi Zerah said, “You’re embarrassing us.”
Rashi explains that here was a big rabbi, juggling hadasim, and acting light-headedly, which was not a befitting way for a rabbi to act. But when this rabbi passed away, there was a pillar of fire separating him from everyone else. It says that this pillar of fire only came to the greatest man of the generation.
On this, Rabbi Zerah said,
אהנייה ליה שוטיתיה לסבא ואמרי לה שטותיה לסבא ואמרי לה שיטתיה לסבא
The hadas helped him (using the word shutita for hadasim),
others say he acted like a fool (pronouncing the word as shtuteh),
and others say he stuck to his shita (pronouncing the word as shitateh).
There’s a question of exactly what the term was- whether it was his hadas that helped him, the fact that he acted silly that helped him, or whether he stuck to his opinion and that’s what helped him. It’s all true, but the main point is that he danced at the wedding in a way that would be embarrassing to himself. Tosafot asks how they know the pillar of fire came because of that, and answers that the pillar of fire looked like a hadas, so it was clear that this is what brought him to this great level.
But what is the source for such a concept? In truth, a Talmid Hacham is not supposed to lower his dignity. For example, the Halacha tells us that a Talmid Hacham is not even supposed to do certain acts of kindness in public. If there’s a lost object and retrieving it would cause a lack of dignity (such as climbing up a tree to retrieve it) he does not have to do it, because it’s beneath his dignity. So why is this allowed? And where do we find such a precedent that to bring Simcha to a Hatan and Kallah, one has the right to disgrace himself?
The Rambam, in Yad Hazaka, on the laws of Succot ( chapter 8, Halacha 15) talks about the simcha of Succot in the Bet Hamikdash. He says that the simcha that one is supposed to have when doing Mitzvot in general, and the love for God who commanded us to serve Him, is great. He says it’s a great service, and whoever holds himself back from that should be punished. And he quotes a pasuk, and says anyone who is arrogant, gives himself respect and doesn’t lower himself is considered חוטא ושוטה Hoteh V’Shoteh/ a sinner and a fool. One might think that the one dancing at the wedding is the fool, but he’s not. It’s the one standing on the side lines.
He says that
וכל המשפיל עצמו ומקל גופו במקומות אלו הוא הגדול המכובד העובד מאהבה וכן דוד מלך ישראל אמר (שמואל ב' ו')
Whoever lowers himself and lightens himself in these areas, he is the true great one, the honorable one that serves God out of love. And the precedent is David Hamelech, where he’s dancing in front of the Aron, and says
ונקלותי עוד מזאת והייתי שפל בעיני
I will get even lower than this, and be humble in my eyes.
ואין הגדולה והכבוד אלא לשמוח לפני ה'
There is no greatness or honor like dancing before Hashem.
That is greatness. Even though you are seemingly degrading yourself, dancing in front of Hashem is greatness.
שנאמר (שמואל ב' ו') והמלך דוד מפזז
ומכרכר לפני ה' בריך רחמנא דסייען:
As it says, David Hamelech acted in a lightheaded way because he was in front of God. And in front of God, there is no room for any Ga’avah/ arrogance. With this, we can understand the source for the rabbi that danced in front of the Hatan V’Kallah, because one who is dancing in front of a Hatan V’Kallah is bringing the Shechina down. And when one brings the Shechina down, there is no room for personal glory. That is why the rabbi was dancing that way. He seemingly looked like a fool, but he was bringing shalom into their house. And it’s not just for a husband and wife. It’s any peace, between any man and his fellow, where the Shechina comes down. As we said, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, Ani Hashem
Love your friend like you love yourself, I am Hashem- because God dwells there.
A person sometimes has to lower himself or do something beneath his dignity in order to bring peace between people. Even Hashem allows His name to be erased, and if Hashem allows His name to be erased, surely we can allow our names to be erased and lower our dignity, to bring peace to people.
Bringing peace to people brings the Shechina. And just like there is no room for honor in front of the Shechina when dancing on Simcha Torah or the like, there is no room for personal kavod when bringing peace between people.
Have a wonderful day.