Today we continue with a quote from the Midrash Shemuel on Pirkei Avot, Perek ב Mishna י explaining how, as the Bet HaLevi told us, Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Love your friend like you love yourself is an antidote for anger.
He discusses how getting angry at another person is like hurting yourself.
If a person were pulling out of his driveway and accidentally dented his second car, he wouldn’t start screaming at himself for damaging his own car. If a person hurts himself, he doesn’t get angry at himself.
He says,
“The whole Jewish people are one nation. Therefore, he is like your limb. Even if hits you, you wouldn’t hit him back.”
This is how Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha can prevent anger.
It’s actually a Yerushalmi in Nedarim. Right before Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, it says “Don’t bear a grudge” and “Don’t seek vengeance.”
The Yerushalmi gives a mashal of a man who was cutting meat with his right hand, and accidentally cut his left finger. Would anyone fathom that his left hand would now stab his right hand for that cut? Of course not! That’s ludicrous.
That is the level of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. It is to the extent that a person views his friend like he views himself. Nobody would go and hurt himself. As the saying goes, “Don’t cut your nose to spite your face.” The dictionary definition of this phrase is, “A needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem.”
It’s when you get so upset at some thing that you overreact, and it becomes self-destructive. You cut your nose to spite your face.
The Hiddush of the Yerushalmi is that when you get upset at someone else, you are also cutting your nose to spite your face. It’s self destructive because he is yourself.
This is how the power of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha can prevent someone from getting angry.