One of the fundamentals of Aseret Yemei Teshuva/Ten Days of Repentance is requesting Mechila/Forgiveness from our fellow man. In order for Yom Kippur to work, we must be forgiven.
As the Mishnah tell us, Yom Kippur does not work for sins between man and man. First you have to appease your friend. Then, once you have appeased your friend, if he still doesn’t want to forgive you, you can turn the tables.
The Rambam, in the laws of Teshuva (chapter 2, halacha 10), tells us,
אסור לאדם להיות אכזרי ולא יתפייס אלא יהא נוח לרצות
It’s forbidden for someone to be cruel, and not be appeased. One should be easily appeased.
That is point number one. It’s forbidden to be cruel.
If someone has wronged you, in whatever way, when they come to you and sincerely apologize, the correct and Jewish way is to forgive.
And he continues…
ובשעה שמבקש ממנו החוטא למחול מוחל בלב שלם ובנפש חפיצה ואפילו הצר לו וחטא לו הרבה ..
And when the person that has sinned against you asks forgiveness, forgive him wholeheartedly, with a desired soul
Even if he did something very bad.
וזהו דרכם של זרע ישראל
And this is the way of the Jewish people.
The Jewish people are forgiving.
In Hilchot De’ot, the laws of the way one is supposed to act (chapter 6, halacha 6), the Rambam also says this-
ולא יהא המוחל אכזרי שנאמר ויתפלל אברהם אל האלהים
The one who is forgiving should not be cruel, and he sources Abraham Avinu for this rule. After Avraham’s wife Sara was kidnapped, Avimelech returned Sara to Avraham, but Avimelech’s family was afflicted. It says that Avraham prayed for them and forgave them.
That is the Jewish way.
There’s a story about Rav Moshe Feinstein and someone who really wronged him. The man was a zealot who was upset that Rav Moshe had allowed something that he felt was not allowed, so he hung posters about it, and wrote many letters trying to defame Rav Feinstein.
A few months later, this man needed a letter of approbation. He brazenly came to Rav Feinstein to ask for it, and Rabbi Feinstein gave it to him. Rav Feinstein’s son asked whether the Rabbi knew who the man was, and what he had done. When the rabbi said he knew, his son asked the Rabbi how he was able to do it.
And the Rabbi replied, “What do you mean? Yom Kippur passed. It’s over. I forgave him.”
That’s the Jewish way.
B’ezrat Hashem, we will all exercise our Jewishness, and forgive people with a full, complete heart.