We continue in our series of the 13 Attributes of Mercy. We previously discussed the Middah of Emet, which is Truth. The problem with this is that truth doesn't seem to be a trait of kindness, as we explained previously.
But Rabbenu Bachye explains that Emet is going back on Hesed, meaning there's a concept called Hesed shel Emet/ A kindness of truth.
A kindness of truth means you’re not looking forward to being paid back. That's one of middot that Hashem has- that a person is receiving a kindness, even though there's nothing coming back. Of course nothing's normally coming back, but he explains that when the Jewish people keep the Torah, we don't need Hessed alone to survive. For the 26 generations, from Adam HaRishon to Matan Torah, it says God took care of the world with Hessed, because they weren't giving anything back.
Conversely, there are times that God gives us, and so to say, there is something to look forward to. God could hope that we do Mitzvot, He could hope that we do good things. And then there's Hessed shel Emet, which means there is nothing coming in return, for the kind of person that it doesn't seem like there's going to be any dividends on investing in him. And yet Hashem still invests in him. That's Hessed shel Emet; that's a kindness without any payback.
And again, it’s true as well, with people. A well known Rashi says that when Yaakov Avinu asked Yosef to bury him, he called it a Hessed shel Emet/ a true kindness.
Because when you bury somebody, there is no waiting for the person to pay you back. He's dead. When you go to someone's Bar Mitzvah, he'll come to your Bar Mitzvah. When you go to his wedding, he’ll go to your wedding.
But when you bury someone, you're not looking forward to him burying you back. That's called a Hessed shel Emet. We have to cultivate that Middah of doing a kindness without looking forward. When you a favor for your spouse, it’s like I scratch your back, you scratch mine. And often with other people, when we do kindness, we know that somehow it'll come around.
Therefore, we are supposed to try to do a kindness without any expectation of repayment. In Rabbi Miller's 10 steps to greatness
(and other Gedolim suggests this as well), it says that a person should do a kindness that nobody knows about. I often give the example that the garbage gets picked up on Monday morning but you notice that your neighbor did not put out his garbage. So you put his garbage out front, and you don't tell anybody.
He thinks his wife did it, and his wife thinks her husband did it, and no one knows it was you that took out the garbage for them. That's a Hessed shel Emet . And when we do Hessed shel Emet, it arouses Hashem’s Middah of Hessed shel Emet.