The best way to learn Ahavat Yisrael is from our role models, the great Gedolim, so we continue to share their inspiring stories.
In Artscroll’s book about Rav Pam, it says (page 270):
The phone once rang in his home soon after Shabbat ended. Rav Pam was obviously distressed as he listened to the caller. The individual was experiencing personal problems and felt very much alone. Rav Pam banged on the table as one would, to expressed anguish upon hearing of a tragedy.“No, no, no!” He declared, “How can you say that you have no friends? I am your friend.”
This is an important concept; to give over the feeling- to people that might not be your friends, or on your social level- that you really are their friend.
In another story (page 276), it says that during their years in East New York, the Pams were acquainted with Benny L., a high functioning, developmentally disabled individual who lived alone. At that time, Benny spoke with Rav Pam either on the phone or in person on an almost daily basis. In 1984 the Pams were instrumental in having Benny accepted into a Women’s League community residence for Jewish men like himself. From that time, Benny’s days were more productive and he only had time to speak with Rav Pam occasionally.
Upon hearing the news of Rav Pam‘s passing, Benny called the Women’s League main office and told them, “I lost my best friend, Rabbi Pam. Now I have pain in my heart.“ Rav Pam was able to make person who was developmentally disabled feel like he was his friend. That is a huge accomplishment, and it is something that should speak to us. We have that opportunity, with people that are not developmentally disabled.
Rav Pam wrote in his own sefer, Atara L’Melech, “Our world is a world of opportunity. You can take advantage. There are simple people, to whom others pay no attention. They do not greet these people nor do they inquire as to their well-being or enter into conversation with them.“
We all know people that are not in our social echelons. We might just pass them by, but, he writes,
“When someone pays attention to such people, and relates to them in a friendly way, they feel honored and derive tremendous pleasure from this.“
This is an opportunity that we all have. He quotes the Rambam that says, “A Talmid hacham extends greetings to all, so that they will find him pleasing.”
It is our job to make people feel pleased by our presence. He goes on to say that there are others who are sad and dispirited. When someone uses his mind to speak to their hearts me lessens their pain, he has performed a great kindness. He says that sometimes when someone has worries, and you lend an ear to their worries you bring them relief. The listening itself is a healing for the soul.
We all have opportunities to connect with people and take them out of their loneliness or sadness. Rav Pam was a role model of this character trait, which he wrote about in his own sefer, and we should be emulating him
Have a wonderful day.