We continue with Ahavat Yisrael stories of Rav Chaim Kanievsky, and see the need to balance one’s stringencies with other peoples’ feelings:
Rav Chaim had no contact with modern day technology. He never had a phone in his house, he never even touched a phone. He never touched a recorder, and he spoke on a phone only once or twice in his life.
He was completely involved in Torah, and that was it. The reason he stayed away from technology was because he thought it would interfere with his learning, so he made a geder that he wouldn’t touch a phone.
However, in one case, he felt that he needed to speak on the phone, so he made an exception and spoke on speakerphone. It was when someone had purposely misquoted him as saying something that might have offended a great rabbi (his grandson was not sure if it was Rav Yaakov Kaminetzsky or Rav Chaim Kreiswirth). Rav Chaim therefore didn’t think a written letter would do the job. He felt he had to actually speak to the Rabbi. He went to a neighbor’s house and asked to be put on speaker phone in order to appease that Gadol.
So he waved his stringency in order to make sure that the rabbi was not insulted.
Rav Chaim was totally immersed in Torah and had a selective memory of sorts. He would forget things that were not related to Torah. But if something was related to Torah or Hessed, that he remembered.
He wrote approximately 70 letters a day (They were short, only about 3-4 words each).
Once, about four days after he responded to an elementary school boy’s letter, he met the boy’s uncle in the Lederman Synagogue and said, “Tell your brother that his son asked a good question.“ Four days, and 280 letters later, Rav Chaim remembered what this young boy had asked.
This same Rav Kanievsky was once told that a certain wealthy man was coming in with a certain problem, and that it would make a good impression if the Rabbi, when greeting the man, would say,”Oh yes, I am aware of your problem.”
Rav Chaim agreed and said he would try to do so. But when the wealthy man walked in and was introduced to Rav Chaim, Rav Chaim had no recollection of who this man was. Why?
Because it was not important for learning or for Hessed. In this case, they wanted to get money from the man for a certain yeshiva. But obviously Rav Chaim’s brain wouldn’t hold onto that.
What we can learn from these stories is that the Rabbi had a special area of his brain reserved for giving people respect, whether it was a Gadol that might have been insulted (for which he waved his no-phone policy), or in order to give nachat to the father of a young boy, because the Gadol recalled his letter.
Have a wonderful day.