In the past we have mentioned how giving rebuke is connected to love, and a lack of rebuke is connected to hate.
There is a thought from the Alshech on this week’s Parasha, on the pasuk that we say every day in Keriat Shema,
וְהָיוּ הַדְּ֒בָרִים הָאֵֽלֶּה אֲשֶׁר֯ אָ֯נֹכִי מְצַוְּ֒ךָ הַיּוֹם עַל֯־לְ֯בָבֶֽךָ
Words that I command you should be on your heart,
וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶֽיךָ
V’Shinantem LBanecha
and teach your children.
The word Shinantem is a hard word.
It should say VLimadetem, like it says in the second Parasha- teach your children.
Shanun means sharp, as the rabbi in the Gemara was called Shinana/Sharp one.
So simply it means to teach in a way that the words are sharp, or clear. But the Alshech has a different explanation. He says that there are many pesukim in tehilim that use the word shinunim as arrows: such as,
חִצֶּ֗יךָ שְׁנ֫וּנִ֥ים
Your arrows are sharp,
And
חִצֵּ֣י גִבּ֣וֹר שְׁנוּנִ֑ים עִ֝֗ם גַּחֲלֵ֥י רְתָמִֽים
The arrows of the strong man are sharp.
And also in Yeshaya…
Every time the word Shinunim shows up in Mavi, it is regarding arrows. So what is this concept of arrows in relation to teaching?
As the pasuk says, “Words that come out of the heart enter the heart.” When we teach our children, we have to make sure that it will be in a such a way that it will enter, and pierce the heart.
That is why it refers to arrows.
We want the words to pierce their hearts. Not just to go in one ear and out the other. How do we make the words pierce their hearts? It has to be Al Levavecha/ on your heart. It has to be something that you are really feeling. You can’t give someone mussar when you really aren’t holding there. If a rabbi just gets up and reads a story, but he is not feeling it, it won’t penetrate. A person has to feel it in order for it to penetrate.
In the Sefer Yashar from one of the Rishonim, it says that when you give a student mussar, don’t forget to give yourself mussar. You can’t tell somebody something that you yourself don’t believe in. Otherwise, it won’t enter. It will go into their ears, but not into their hearts. He continues and says that a great man once said, “How do I know when someone’s words are coming out of their heart? If I feel it entering my heart. If I hear Mussar and I feel it, then it means that the person that gave it was giving it with all his heart and soul. And if I don’t feel it, and I was not aroused, that means it was only lip service.“
This is an important concept. When people do not accept our musar, when our children aren’t listening to us, when you wonder why your students aren’t listening to you, it’s possible that it is not really coming out of your heart. You can tell anybody anything, and you can give anyone Mussar, but it’s not enough for it to be external. It has to come from within. That is why having concern is not enough. You have to feel it. You yourself have to feel it and want to give it over to the person, because you care about him. That way, it will enter like an arrow pierces the heart. That is why we say V’Shinantem LeBanecha/ Teach your children.
We have to say it in a way that will pierce their hearts.
Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.