Many people learn the Gemara in Masechet Gittin on Tisha BAv,
( 57A) which tells the story of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa, and ends with the following statement:
“Come and see how great is the power of shame, for the Holy One assisted Bar Kamsa in his plot to take revenge for the shame to which he had been subjected. And Hashem destroyed His house, the Bet Hamikdash,and burned His sanctuary.”
In the end, if not for the fact that Hashem, so to say, caused the hachamim to make a mistake, in allowing Bar Kamsa to continue with his plot, they could have stopped him. They could have accepted the blemished offering, and the plot could have ended. So why did it happen? Because Hashem allowed it to happen. And why did Hashem allow to happen? Because Bar Kamsa was shamed and embarrassed and thrown out of the party.
Although what he ended up doing was a horrific thing (tattling to the Romans and causing the Bet Hamikdash to be destroyed with his horrible plot) God allowed it to happen, because Bar Kamsa was shamed.
Rav Leib Chasman uses this story to teach us an unbelievable concept on the extent of our obligations to treat others with respect and avoid embarrassing them. The host, who threw out Bar Kamsa, seemingly acted properly, as from Bar Kamsa’s subsequent behavior, we can see what kind of fellow he was. Because of personal insult, he was willing to slander the entire Jewish people to the Caesar, and engage in an elaborate scheme to manipulate him into attacking them! He was clearly a petty and cruel man, who cared more about his own pride than the welfare of the entire Jewish people. Certainly, you would not wish to host such a guest, and would feel entitled to treat him with disdain, And yet the Gemara says on this,
“Great is the power of shame.“
We are talking about a lowlife fellow, and yet, even for him- God cares about his dignity. We aren’t talking about somebody who gets up and says something negative about the Torah. There are rules and regulations about when we protest and when we don’t.
But in this story, this man came to a party. He didn’t do anything wrong at the party. He was just a bum that showed up at a party, and he had no right to be embarrassed or shamed.
This is an important lesson for us. Sometimes we take the law into our own hands and embarrass and shame people when they are not allowed to be embarrassed ashamed.
I remember many years ago when I was in yeshiva, there was a fellow in a different yeshiva who was taking money out of people’s pockets in the coat room. Obviously, he was a poor fellow who did not have money. He was not a hardened criminal. Somebody once saw him taking money out of a pocket, put him in a headlock, and called the police. When word got to the Rosh Yeshiva, he said that they had no right to do that.
“The boy may be a thief but you can not embarrass him publicly like that. You had no right to put him in a headlock or anything like that. There are rules and regulations about how we treat thieves, and who is supposed to be embarrassed, and when.
It’s an important lesson, and it’s actually the lesson of the Churban, of Tisha B’Av, that we just experienced. We should strengthen ourselves and be careful, and realize the power of shame.
Have a wonderful day.