Yesterday we quoted how the continuation of the holiday of Succot is Shemini Aseret, and the concept that God says,
קשה עלי פרידתכם
Kasheh Alai Pridat’chem
It's difficult on Me, the separation.”
We discussed that it’s not just that God separates from the Jewish people, but also when the Jewish people start separating from each other after the holiday.
The sefer Ahavat Shalom, in Parashat Emor adds an additional piece:
Why does it say Kashe Alai Pridatchem/ You're separating is difficult on Me? What is meant by ‘on Me?’
He explains that sometimes the cause of the dissension is an argument revolving around the Mitzva. One person says this is the right way to do the Mitzva, and the other one says that's the right way to do the Mitzva, and at times, that can bring about tremendous dissension. And that's what means. Kashe Alai- It hurts when I'm the reason behind the arguments.
Imagine a family where the children have a rotation system for taking care of the parent, and they get into fights over the rotation system. That hurts the parent more than anything else; that they themselves are the cause of the dissension. And the same thing is true with Hashem.
It says about the Torah,
“The ways the Torah are sweet and all of its ways are shalom/peace.”
This is an important point that cannot be stressed enough. We sometimes use religion as a cause for arguments, but it's usually not the religion that’s the cause. It's a misunderstanding or misuse of religious information.
For example, there's a
Zohar that is understood (and it’s not so simple) that one is not allowed to bring a goy into the Succah. There are those that understand that it doesn't mean just bringing a goy into the Succah as a housekeeper to clean, but rather, it means to invite the goy as a guest to your Succah. But again, Zohars always have to be understood. I was told that explanation in the past, and someone recently told it to me in the name of Chacham David Choueka from Mexico.
So it’s a zohar, it's a minhag Hasidut, it's an extra, it’s definitely not a Halacha. But then somebody hears, in shul, that you can't bring the housekeeper into the Succah. And then he comes home all excited to tell his wife No housekeepers in the Succah! His poor wife has three families to clean up after, and she needs help…. And now this new chumra comes along and they're fighting. That's not what religion is about.
It’s a Kashe Alai Predachtem/ it hurts God when the argument was caused by Him. That's not what He meant. And that's why we have to understand how to apply what we hear. If religion is causing fights, it's probably not being done correctly. Of course, there are exceptions. There are times when someone's a Kofer and you have to protest.
But let's go with the rule, not the exception. The rule is The ways of God are sweet and all its pathways are peaceful.
And if you have any questions, find a good rabbi to discuss with him how to make things work out.
Have a wonderful day.