In the Artscroll book on Rav Shteinman (page 361) there is a beautiful story about what’s important and what isn’t. The director of a new organization was telling Rav Shteinman that A representative of another, more established organization had contacted him, complaining that their names were too similar. For example, one was called Samchenu/Make us happy, and the other was called Simcha. They sound similar. The man admitted that the names did sound similar, but he added that the other organization had been around longer. Rav Shteinman asked him why he didn’t just change the name of his organization.
“With all due respect,” the man replied, “if someone came to the Rosh Yeshiva complaining that the last name Shteinman bothered him, and he asked the Rosh Yeshiva to change his name to Buzaglo, would the Rosh Yeshiva change his name?!”
Rav Aharon Leib looked at the man and said, “Believe me, I would do anything to avoid a machloket/argument. If my last name really bothered somebody else, I would happily do it help another Jew. “ That is a sign of great people. Great people w get stuck on small things. Many times people say that is the principle of the matter. But that’s not an excuse, to stand on one’s rights.
That is what great people teach us. Sometimes a minor thing can stop an argument, so why not just do it? People get stuck on the small, trivial things, and that is how arguments start.
It is known that at one of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky’s children’s weddings, he marched down with his wife and child, as is the custom for some, and at another one of his children’s weddings, the two fathers marched with the Chatan and the two mothers marched with the Kalllah, as is the custom for others.
So they asked Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky what his custom was. He he answered that his custom was whatever the side does. In other words, it was not worth it to make a point of principle. If you make somebody else happy and it is not going against Halacha, go ahead.
If you don’t like the name Shteinman, no problem. I’ll change it to Buzaglo. It’s fine, these things are unimportant. This is an important lesson. How many fights are started because people stand by their principles on really trivial items?
Have a wonderful day.