As Aseret Yeme Teshuva wind down, we have to realize how important our middot are.
The Rambam ( in Laws of Teshuva chapter 7 Halacha 3) tells us, “ Don't say, ‘I only need to make teshuva from something that has an action such as ….
I stole, I did ate something unkosher…’ That’s a mistake. “Just like you need Teshuva from those, so too, you have to check your bad De’ot/mindsets.” We've mentioned in the past that the Rambam calls middot ‘De’ot/mindsets’ because, as Rav Wolbe explains, it's really your mindset that determines how you're going to react.
And what are those De’ot Ra’ot/ Bad mindsets that you have to do Teshuva from?
-From getting angry. That’s a very scary one. Is it on the list of teshuva? Yes. It's on our standard confession list.כעסנו We got angry
-From hatred- hating somebody
-From jealousy.
These are all man-to-man middot issues, and most people don't put them on their list of things to fix.
“From all of these… middot issues, and he lists more… one must repent.
And he adds, “For these sins (he calls anger a sin, he calls hatred a sin, he calls jealousy a sin), “it's harder to do Teshuva.” It's harder to do Teshuva from getting angry than it is from eating unkosher. Because when you get entrenched, or immersed in these, it’s very hard to disconnect from them.
“Let the evil man leave his way.”
And when we say that the “Rasha has to leave his ‘Derech’ It means his path in life, which refers to middot. Middot are a path in life.
But, as Rav Yisrael Salantar says, It's easier to learn Shas than it is to change one Middah. The reason for this is, like the Rambam is saying, an action is one thing. But Middot, or mindsets, as the Rambam calls them, are what modern terminology calls hardwired. It’s the way the brain is wired. So you have to rewire your brain circuits on how to react. That's much harder than saying, “I won't do xyz.”
Your actions are in your control to a certain extent, but the way you look at things, is more ingrained. We have spoken about the concept of reframing. To cause your brain to reframe how to look at things takes years and years of conditioning. If you go outside and it's a rainy day, do you think to yourself, ‘It's a nasty day!’ or do you say ‘Rain is a blessing?’
That's hardwiring. Most people have been hardwired to say, Rain is nasty. When you get up and see it's raining, you think it's a horrible day. But you need to rewire your brain to say, Rain is blessing. That's much harder than deciding to keep chalav Yisrael or yashan. It’s easier to decide to keep Yashan than rewire De’ot. But that's part of our responsibility.
And we're talking about Ahavat Yisrael- a lot of which has to do with this kind of rewiring. All of that goes into Teshuva. As the Elder of Kelm says, You can’t change in one day of Yom Kippur.” What you can do is commit yourself to say, ‘I'm going learn about this topic. I'm going work on this topic, ’ and that's the way you start Teshuva.
Yom Kippur is a time to start to, so to say, right the ship, and put it in the correct direction. You're not going to get there on Yom Kippur, but at least you're going to put yourself in the right direction.
Have a wonderful day.