There is a Gemara that speaks of the Aseret Harugeh Malchut/ the Ten Martyrs that were killed by the Romans in the times of the Tena’im, in the era of Second Bet HaMikdash.
The rabbis of Kabbalah say that these great rabbis were killed to atone for the sin of the ten Shevatim selling their brother Yosef into captivity..
Rabbenu Bachye and other Rishonim ask a question about this: why did the Shevatim have to suffer, if Yosef had forgiven them?
As we mentioned, Yosef reassured them, and told them not to worry. So why were they punished?
Rabbenu Bachye answers that Yosef Didn’t explicitly say, “Ani Mochel/I forgive you.”
That is why some people are careful to ask a person they are seeking forgiveness from to actually say the words “Machul/ I forgive.”
It’s not enough to just think it in your heart.
A lesser known answer to this question comes from the Sefer Hasidim, written by Rav Yehuda haHasid, an early Rishon from the times of the Tosafot.
He says, clearly, that Yosef did forgive his brothers.
The Chida, in his Sefer Brit Olam, a commentary on the Sefer Hasidim, asks the same question. If Yosef forgave them, as it says in Sefer Hasidim, why would the tribes have to come back reincarnated as Gilgulim and die Al Kiddush Hashem, as the Ten Martyrs?
The Chida say that yes, Yosef forgave them wholeheartedly. But what Yosef Hasadik forgave helped for the sin against him. However, there is still the matter of the sin against God. And since God is exacting with the pious, like a hairsbreadth, although they got mechila from Yosef, it wasn’t enough.
These are of the wonders of the God who is perfect, that is able to do this kind of judgment.
For us, the point is that we have to be aware. A sin against man is always a double sin. It’s a sin against man, and it also has within it a sin against Hashem. So even after you have appeased your friend, you still have to ask forgiveness from God.
Another powerful lesson in Ahavat Yisrael.
Have a wonderful day