We continue with lessons from the story of Yosef and his brothers:
At the end of Parashat Vayechi, the brothers sent a message to Yosef from their father that they should be forgiven. Yosef cried and he said, Of course, don’t worry, I’m not in the place of God.
And then he added, “You thought upon me evil (i.e. you planned to do something evil to me) but God (had another plan and) made it good.” That is the simple way of reading that pasuk: You had a bad plan and God turned it around.
But Rav Eliyahu Svei quotes from the Targum Yonatan ben Uziel, which asks why the brothers even felt a need to send Yosef a message seeking forgiveness. Why would they think that anything had changed?
He explains that after Yaakov Avinu died, Yosef stopped hosting the brothers for meals. They assumed that it was because he was upset with them, to which Yosef responded, “You thought bad about me - You misunderstood what I did.”
The reason Yosef did not invite them was because for the past 17 years, when they had been together, Yaakov Avinu placed Yosef at the head of the table. It had always bothered Yosef that his older brother Reuven was not seated at the head of the table, but out of respect for his father, Yosef did what he asked, and sat at the head.
But after Yaakov Avinu passed away, Yosef felt conflicted. On one hand, he was the king, so he should be at the head of the table. But on the other hand, Reuven was the older brother, so he should be at the head of the table.
Yosef found himself in a quandary, and since he didn’t know what to do,
he didn’t invite them.
But it wasn’t because, God forbid, he had any hard feelings toward them. Rather, he was concerned about hurting his brother Reuven’s feelings.
And perhaps Yosef didn’t want tell the brothers this, because he was uncomfortable questioning what his father had done. He wasn’t sure if that would be a lack of respect for his father.
Thus, what Yosef meant was, “You thought bad about what I was doing but God knew my plans. God knows what I was thinking. I was only thinking good.”
Aside for the lesson in judging others favorably, Rav Svei says that we see from here to look at how Yosef worked on his middot. When someone has been doing some thing for 17 years, it becomes habit, but although Yosef ate every meal for 17 years at the head, he still wondered if Reuven should be at the head of the table. Therefore, the moment that Yaakov Avinu was no longer there, Yosef wondered how he could possibly sit there and risk insulting his older brother. That was the sensitivity of the Shevatim, of Yosef, and that is what we have to learn.
Have a wonderful day.