We continue with beautiful lessons of Ahavat Yisrael from Rabbi Pam.
On page 273 of the Artscroll biography, it says,
Rabbi Aharon Walkin, a Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Ohel Simcha related the following story, which inspired him so much that he made Rav Pam his mentor: A Yeshiva student was expelled for having committed an infraction which was foolish and reflected immaturity. His father, a distinguished Talmid hacham, was distraught and pleaded with the administrators of the Yeshiva to give his son one more chance, but it was to no avail. Rabbi Walkin, whose advice the father had sought, suggested that Rav Pam might be willing to speak to the administration, and that he would probably have the best chance of convincing them to rescind their decision. An appointment was made and the father, accompanied by Rabbi Walkin, went to see Rav Pam. The father explained the situation with great emotion. He said that his son was approaching marriageable age and the expulsion could do great harm to his future, and it would also stain the family’s reputation. Rav Pam began to cry. His caring heart could not bear to see a father suffering this way. After he calmed down somewhat, he asked the father for the Yeshiva‘s phone number. The father’s face brightened, “Does that mean that the Rosh Yeshiva will be able to do something for me?“ he asked.
Rav Pam replied, “If they listen to me, I can do something. The truth is, I don’t think they are going to listen, but I must try. I must.“ Years later, Rabbi Walkin reminded Rav Pam of this incident, and Rav Pam said, “One must act, even if he won’t accomplish. One must always try even if the doors are closed”. Rav Pam proved this from the famous Midrash that says that Iyov was one of Paroah’s advisers, and when Paroah took council from his three advisors as he plotted to enslave the Jews, Bilam said to go ahead, Yitro ran away and Iyov remained silent. The reason he remained silent was that he did not think that his words would have any impact, so why say something?
So why was he punished? Rav Pam says that it is because one must not sit quiet and idle in the face of another’s pain.
This is an important rule.
There are no coincidences.
Someone recently asked my wife to try and help get her child into a certain school. My wife has been trying and calling, and trying and calling. Eventually, I told her to stop, because it didn’t seem to be making a difference. But my wife obviously has the Rav Pam upbringing, and so she keeps trying. Now I see that she is right. You have to keep trying. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like you are going to get anywhere, but if someone is in pain and they need help, it is your job to try.
This is a beautiful concept that we should all take to heart.
When people ask us for favors, whether it is getting a son into yeshiva, getting a house, or making a shidduch, you might think, “Come on! There is no way they will ever agree to go out with that girl ( or boy)!”
But if they ask you, do it anyway. Try. I can give countless examples of where I have failed in this area, but hopefully, going forward, I will get better at it. Have a wonderful day.