Lesson #10: Judging Favorably
There’s a saying here in the United States, “Seeing is believing.” In Judaism, however, we strongly believe that what we see is never the whole truth. Seeing is absolutely not believing. There is always more than that which meets the eye.
Often, we find ourselves living in an exceedingly judgmental society. People assume that “seeing is believing,” and so they rashly reach definitive conclusions based on what they see. This is not the way we are supposed to act.
If we see a generally G-d-fearing person doing something which appears wrong, we are obligated to judge him favorably. Even if the evidence strongly indicates that he is acting improperly, nevertheless, if he is a generally G-d-fearing individual – not to mention if he is a Rabbi or accomplished Torah scholar – then Halacha requires giving him the benefit of the doubt. This applies even if the evidence strongly suggests that he is indeed guilty of wrongdoing.
If this is true when we actually observe seemingly wrongful conduct, then how much more so are we obligated to judge somebody favorably if we merely hear that he acted improperly! If we are told that somebody did something wrong, we must judge that person favorably and not believe that he committed the act in question.
If the individual whom we see act inappropriately is not meticulously observant, even if the evidence clearly suggests that what he did was wrong, nevertheless, it is proper not to judge him negatively, and to instead give him the benefit of the doubt. This is how far Halacha goes in regard to favorable judgment. Just as we do not want people to judge us, we should refrain from casting judgment about others.
When it comes to speaking, however, then even if there is no question about what happened, and we know for certain that the person acted wrongly, it is forbidden to relay this information to others.
We have all had experiences where we saw something which appeared to be one thing but ended up being something entirely different. So many times our first impression turns out to be completely wrong, and the individual is actually nothing like the person we at first thought he was.
There is a famous story of a Rabbi from our community who was seen on a plane to Israel, and when the other men stood to pray Shaharit, this Rabbi remained in his seat, and did not even take out his Tallit and Tefillin to pray. A community member noticed that the Rabbi did not pray, and, at a different point during the flight, he walked by the Rabbi’s seat and noticed that he was reading The Wall Street Journal instead of learning Torah. The community member was appalled, and decided that he was going to report to others in the community about this Rabbi’s conduct.
Later, as the passengers disembarked, this community member noticed that the Rabbi’s shirt was ripped. Bewildered, he approached the Rabbi and asked why his shirt was torn.
“My mother died,” the Rabbi explained. “I am flying to Israel to bury her.”
The Rabbi did not pray or learn Torah because these are forbidden before the funeral. The man could not believe that he had suspected the Rabbi of neglecting prayer and Torah learning.
Let us train ourselves to see the good in all people, instead of rushing to judge negatively. We can choose what kind of world we live in, by choosing from which perspective to assess that which we see around us.