Lesson#103: Avoiding Blame
A youngster was applying for admission to a certainyeshiva, and his father was quite close to one of the Rabbis in theyeshiva. Because of this closefriendship, the parents and the boy were quite certain that the boy would beaccepted. However, to their surprise anddismay, the boy received a rejection letter. Unbeknownst to them, a different Rabbi in the yeshiva felt that the boyshould not be admitted, and ensured that he would be rejected.
The first Rabbi now finds himself in an awkwardsituation vis-à-vis the father. They aregood friends, and the Rabbi did what he good to have the youngster accepted,but his efforts failed. Understandably,he wants very much to clear things up with the father, and assure him that heis not at all to blame for the son's rejection. Is he permitted to tell the father about the other Rabbi who opposed hisefforts and saw to it that the boy would be rejected?
Halacha outright forbids divulging this information,and doing so would constitute a violation of the prohibition of Rechilut,because this would, without doubt, cause the boy and his family to resent thatother Rabbi. Even though the Rabbi'sintent is purely to clear his own name, to avoid being blamed, and has nodesire whatsoever to badmouth his colleague, nevertheless, this is forbidden,because he arouses the family's animosity towards the Rabbi who had the childrejected. It would also be forbidden forhim to hint that another Rabbi in the school sabotaged his efforts to have thechild accepted, as the parents would then likely begin inquiring in an effortto reveal who it was that prevented their son from being accepted.
The Rabbi in this case is permitted only to assurethe father that he did everything he could to try to have the childaccepted. He is not allowed to revealany other details. If the father asksquestions, trying to obtain more information, the Rabbi should say, "I amsorry, I cannot tell you anything more." He is not allowed to give any details or even any hints as to why thechild was not accepted.
This Halacha applies also to board meetings andcommittees. If a vote went a certain waythat upset a board member's friend, he is not permitted to reveal to the friendhow any of the other members voted. Itis outright forbidden to disclose information about what transpired in aprivate meeting behind closed doors. Onecan assure his friend that he did his best, but he is not allowed to give anyfurther information, as this would violate the prohibition of Rechilut.