Lesson #104: The Wedding Gown
A newly-engaged girl and her mother go into a bridalstore to find a wedding gown. This isthe first thing they are doing to prepare for the wedding, and the girl is oncloud nine. They are both intent on findingthe "perfect" gown for the big day. Forover an hour, they go through gown after gown, in search of the best one. Finally, they find one which is justperfect. The daughter is blown away, andshe begs her mother to purchase it even though it is more expensive than theothers. The mother agrees, and she opensher purse to pull out the checkbook so she can give the deposit.
She then realizes that she had left her checkbook athome.
"Please hold this gown for us," she asks theowner. "I have to go home and get mycheckbook. I promise I'll be backlater."
The store owner explains that the policy is not tohold gowns without a deposit, but she is willing to make an exception becauseshe sees how badly they want this particular gown.
"I will hold it for you until closing time, 6pm thisafternoon," the owner says.
The mother thanks her and assures her that she willbe back with a check.
Two hours later, another newly-engaged bride and hermother walk into the store. They, too,are searching for the "perfect" gown. And they set their eyes upon the gown that was being held for the firstbride.
"I'm very sorry, ladies," the owner says. "This gown is already reserved."
"But this is the gown I've always dreamt of!" thegirl cries. "Let me just try it on."
She tries on the grown, and all three agree that shelooks spectacular. This truly is theperfect gown for her.
"What can I do?" the owner says. "I already promised it to a different bride."
This bride and her mother start pressuring her. "Look, there's only an hour left till closingtime," the mother said. "What are thechances of her coming back? I have mycheckbook right here – I can give you a deposit immediately. Why would you hold it for someone else?"
After the bride and her mother beg and cajole, thestore owner finally relents.
Not long thereafter, at 5:40, just twenty minutesbefore closing, the mother of the first bride comes running into the store, outof breath, having just double-parked to make sure she arrives in time. She is waving a check in the air, announcing,"Here! I brought you the deposit!"
The store owner, embarrassed, confesses that shegave the gown away. She explains thatshe came under pressure by a different bride and her mother who desperately wantedthat particular grown.
It would be outright forbidden for the store ownerin this situation to tell this mother who the other mother was who pressuredher into selling the gown. This wouldviolate the prohibition of Rechilut, as sharing this information would arousehostile feelings within the first mother toward the second mother. The first mother – and her daughter – wouldstrongly resent the other mother and her daughter for pressuring the storeowner to sell the gown which had been promised to them. The prohibition of Rechilut forbids saying ordoing something which will arouse hard feelings between fellow Jews, and so thestore owner would not be allowed to divulge to the first mother the name of thecustomer who pressured her to give the gown away.
Sometimes it happens that a customer was relying ona certain service or product, and the business owner did not come underpressure but nevertheless broke his commitment and gave the service or productto a different customer, figuring that this second customer has greaterlong-term promise. If the business ownertells the first customer that the second customer pressured him, then thistransgresses the particularly grievous prohibition of Mosi Shem Ra – libel,spreading false negative information about somebody, saying that he committedan offense which he did not actually commit. The right thing to do in such a case is to offer a sincere apology,admit wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness.
When running a business, one is required to conducthis affairs honestly – and also in a manner which avoids causing tension orfriction between other people.