Lesson 12: The Eye Witness
Some people misunderstand the requirement to judge others favorably, thinking that it refers only to conceiving of a way to explain why the action which one witnessed was not actually forbidden. For example, in a previous installment in this series, we related the story of a Rabbi who was seen on a flight to Israel reading a newspaper instead of learning Torah, and not getting up to pray at all throughout the flight. It was later discovered that the Rabbi was flying to bury his mother, and so he was exempt from all Misvot. Other well-known examples include the fellow who was seen eating forbidden food, and it turned out that he was a diabetic and experienced an attack that necessitated eating that food as a matter of Pikuah Nefesh (avoiding life-threatening danger). Or the person who was seen going into a McDonalds, and he later explained that he desperately needed to use the restroom.
These stories represent the more familiar type of favorable judgment – arriving at creative possibilities for explaining why the act we saw was not actually forbidden.
In truth, however, the obligation to judge favorably extends beyond that, and applies even when there is no possible way that the act was permissible. Even then, there is a Misva to come to the individual’s defense. We might, for example, consider that the individual committed the act accidentally, or was unaware that this act is forbidden. Often, when people are respectfully informed that what they did is not allowed, they humbly accept and commit never to repeat the action. Perhaps the individual knew that this action is not permitted, but did not realize the severity. Maybe he thought, “This is business, this is the way everybody does it, so it’s not such a big deal,” not realizing that what he did actually constitutes a grave Torah violation.
As the legendary Rav Levi Yishak of Berditchev would say, when we see somebody act improperly, we should appoint ourselves as this person’s defense attorney and advocate for him before his Creator. We should turn to Hashem and exclaim, “Abba! Your child is still great, despite what he did!” People who advocate on behalf of Hashem’s children are especially beloved to Him.
This should be our reaction when we observe inappropriate conduct. Certainly, we are not allowed to inform other people about what we saw. But in addition, we should rush to the person’s defense and see how we can perceive him in a positive light.
If we see somebody who is a G-d-fearing Jew, and who most certainly recognizes the severity of the act, do something forbidden, then, the Hafetz Haim writes, we should approach him privately and respectfully encourage him to avoid such conduct in the future. And if this individual is a righteous Torah scholar – after all, all people occasionally sin, even the exceptionally righteous – then we must assume that he has already repented, and is already plagued by pangs of guilt and remorse. Thus, there is no need to approach him.
Under all circumstances, however, we may not inform others about what we saw.
In short, we should always strive to view people positively, and to defend them before G-d. If we want to know how this is done, we need only to ask our mothers. They will explain to us how they did just that for us, for many years. And this is what we should be doing for others.