Lesson #25: Bad Circles
Sometimes a person might find himself among a group of people indulging in gossip, going through individuals they know one-by-one, sharing with each other all the unflattering information they have about them. He knows that any attempt he makes to have them desist, to make them realize that such conversations are strictly forbidden, will be an exercise in futility. In such a situation, one must leave the group rather that remain and listen to the Lashon Ha’ra that they are speaking.
On some occasions, however, this is not possible. It might happen that someone is a guest at a Shabbat table where Lashon Ha’ra is being spoken, G-d forbid, and he cannot leave. Ideally, a person in this situation should plug his ears so he cannot listen to what is being said. If this would cause him embarrassment, then he may remain, if he fulfills three conditions: he does not believe any of the Lashon Ha’ra he hears; he does not enjoy listening to it; and he does not contribute or express consent in any way, but to the contrary, shows displeasure over listening to the forbidden speech.
If somebody joins such a group with the specific intention to hear the Lashon Ha’ra that they speak, eager to get “caught up” on all the latest community gossip, then he commits a sin even more grievous than Lashon Ha’ra itself. The Hafetz Haim explains that such a person not only violates the prohibition against listening to Lashon Ha’ra, but comes under the category of “Ba’al Lashon Ha’ra,” somebody engrossed in Lashon Ha’ra. Even though he does not speak one word, the very fact that he specifically joined a group of people to hear Lashon Ha’ra places him in the category of a “Ba’al Lashon Ha’ra,” because he is eager to hear Lashon Ha’ra, and because he is aiding and abetting those indulging in this grave Torah violation.
The Midrash teaches that Hashem says to us, “I can and will save you from misfortune – as long as you do your part to silence the Satan, and prevent him from speaking against you. You do this by refraining from speaking evil about other people, by avoiding Lashon Ha’ra.” Somebody who speaks Lashon Ha’ra about people essentially invites the Satan to speak against him.
One who intentionally joins a group of people to hear Lashon Ha’ra not only actively commits a transgression, but also forfeits the great blessings which Hashem would otherwise bestow upon him, and opens the doors for the Satan to come and cause him harm, Heaven forbid.