Lesson #26: Judgmental
Not only is it forbidden to listen to Lashon Ha’ra, it is forbidden to even listen to and accept somebody’s unfavorable judgment of another person. If one listens to and accepts someone’s report about his fellow, and his negative assessment of the information, then he – the listener – has transgressed the prohibition of Lashon Ha’ra, as well as the command to judge people favorably. If the person being judged is an upstanding, G-d-fearing individual, who has earned the right to be judged favorably, then the sin of judging unfavorably is especially grievous. Needless to say, the severity of the offense is further magnified if the person spoken about is a righteous person, and even more so if the judgment is made about one’s own Rabbi.
An unfortunately common example of this misdeed is when a person loses his case in Bet Din. He might feel embittered and begin casting accusations against the Dayanim (judges), claiming that they were biased, that they ruled in favor of the other litigant because they know and like him, or because they were bribed. If one hears the litigant speak this way, it is important to try to explain to him how the judges could be viewed more favorably, and that they should not be assessed in a negative light because of their decision.
When we judge unfavorably, we run the risk of becoming judgmental people – which is very destructive. Judgmental people live miserable lives. Everyone around them is guilty until proven innocent. Everyone around them has something wrong with them – and they, the judgmental people, know with confidence exactly what the problem is. The world then becomes a very dark and unhappy place.
We need to realize that sometimes, when Hashem is going to judge us, He first sends us a test, to see how we will judge others, and the way we judge the people around us is precisely the way He will then judge us.