Lesson #28: Not Allowed to Believe
One who heard Lashon Ha’ra spoken about somebody is not allowed to believe the information he was told unless it has been confirmed, and if he does believe it, then he has transgressed the prohibition of Lashon Ha’ra. If one did believe the information, in violation of this prohibition, it is now forbidden for him to act upon this information, such as by insulting, embarrassing or causing harm to the person spoken about. One who heard Lashon Ha’ra and then acted upon it has thus committed two violations – believing Lashon Ha’ra, and acting upon the information.
Hence, if one did believe Lashon Ha’ra which was spoken to him, he should try to “stop the bleeding” by avoiding any forbidden action. Although he has committed one transgression – believing the information – this does not license him to then proceed to commit another transgression. He should stop the destructive process of Lashon Ha’ra by remaining passive and not acting in a forbidden manner in response to the information he heard.
One who hears Lashon Ha’ra about somebody to whom he has certain obligations must follow through on those obligations, unless the allegations have been confirmed. For example, if a store owner hears that an employee stole money or merchandise from him, he may not withhold salary from that employee until the accusations are verified. Since it is forbidden to believe the reports until they are confirmed, the employer may not act upon them by penalizing the employee. Another example is when somebody is collecting charity, and one hears a rumor that this collector is dishonest. Since the Torah obligates us to give charity to those who request it, unless it has been determined that they are dishonest, we must not withhold charity from a collector after hearing unconfirmed allegations about him.
As discussed in a previous installment in this series, one is allowed to take negative information about somebody into account in order to protect himself. Although one may not definitively believe the information if it has not been confirmed, he may exercise caution in order to avoid being harmed by that person. However, if one has a preexisting obligation toward the person – such as in the aforementioned cases of an employee, or a charity collector to whom one would have otherwise given a donation – he may not refuse to meet his obligations because of the Lashon Ha’ra that he heard about that individual.
If one accepted Lashon Ha’ra, and believed what he heard, and he then wishes to repent, he must resolve in his heart that he does not believe the information, confess to Hashem his wrongdoing, and commit to never again make the mistake of believing Lashon Ha’ra. If he had in the interim repeated this information to other people, then the process of repentance is far more difficult. Besides the aforementioned measures, he must also approach the person spoken of and request forgiveness. He must also approach the people to whom he related the information and convince them not to believe what he had told them.
If a person accepted Lashon Ha’ra and sincerely repented, turning to Hashem, confessing having acted wrongly, begging Him for forgiveness, and affirming that he no longer believes what he heard and that he will not repeat his mistake in the future, then his repentance is accepted. Hashem responds to such a person, “You rejected evil words spoken about one of My children – so I will do the same, and I will never listen to evil words spoken about you. When a prosecuting angel in heaven tells Me to punish you for something you did wrong – I will not listen to him!”
If we do not believe the negative things we hear about Hashem’s beloved children, then Hashem will pay no attention to the negative things He “hears” about us…