Lesson #29: Right in Front of Him
When a person stands before a large group of people and speaks Lashon Ha’ra, relating negative information about somebody, we might assume that the information must be true. After all, one who speaks before a large group is putting his reputation on the line; if what he says is discovered to be untrue, people will not trust him in the future. We would thus have likely figured that it is permissible to believe information conveyed to a large group of people. In truth, however, this is not the case. Halacha forbids believing Lashon Ha’ra even if it is spoken to a large audience.
What’s more, one may not believe Lashon Ha’ra even if it spoken in the presence of the person being talked about. Even though the person is right in front of the speaker, and we would thus naturally assume that the speaker would not brazenly lie about him, and would not present this information unless he was certain it was true and accurate, nevertheless, it is forbidden to believe the information. Certainly, if someone speaks Lashon Ha’ra and avows that he is so certain that the information is true that he would present it in the person’s presence, the listener is not allowed to believe what he hears.
This Halacha applies even if the person being spoken about is present and remains silent, without objecting or denying the information. Intuitively, we might have thought to apply the principle of “Shetika Ke’hoda’a” – remaining silent when hearing something is akin to an explicit confession. In regard to Lashon Ha’ra, this is not the case, and even if the person spoken about hears what is said and remains silent, the listeners may not believe what they heard.
This Halacha might seem difficult to understand, but I myself was present at such an incident, and this story is instructive in explaining this principle. Somebody was speaking to a group and said something negative about a person in the group. The man looked embarrassed, but did not respond. This fellow is known not to be timid; he is the type of person who would immediately rush to react and argue against that which he believes to be incorrect. Naturally, then, everyone in the group assumed that the speaker was telling the truth about this individual, as otherwise, he would have right away responded and denied the information. I approached this fellow afterward and asked him why he chose not to respond.
“To tell you the truth,” he said, “I was going to shout back and tear everything he said to shreds. But I’m going through a crisis right now, and I thought that remaining silent at this moment might provide me with a Zechut (merit). I was hoping that Hashem will see how I am now someone who does not respond, and remains silent even when he is wrongfully shamed, and in this merit, I will be helped.”
Sometimes, silence can be the loudest statement of all. Therefore, we cannot interpret someone’s silence as a confession to what is being spoken about him, and even then, we cannot believe the Lashon Ha’ra that was said.