Lesson #36: Feelings
Speaking negative information about somebody often has the effect of hurting their feelings, damaging their reputation, or causing them some sort of harm. A common example of this unfortunate phenomenon is Lashon Ha’ra spoken about children.
Halacha forbids speaking Lashon Ha’ra about a child if it will cause the child any sort of harm or distress, or hurt his feelings. However, it is permissible to share negative information about a child if the intention is to prevent the child from engaging in mischief, to educate him, or to set him on the right path of behavior, as this is being done for a constructive purpose. But even if this is one’s intention, the information may be shared only if one ensures that everything he says in precisely accurate, without any exaggeration, and he personally saw the behavior he reports, and did not just hear about it from somebody else.
In general, though, special care must be taken when speaking to people about children. Spreading negative information about a youngster can so easily result in his acquiring a bad reputation, which could then evoke fierce resentment and trigger the process of the child’s abandoning religious observance.
Of course, it is forbidden to speak Lashon Ha’ra about anybody, whether the person is an Am Ha’aretz (ignoramus) or an accomplished Torah scholar. However, the punishment for speaking Lashon Ha’ra about a Torah scholar is especially severe. Today, one of the strategies enlisted by the Yeser Ha’ra (evil inclination) is to lead us to think that we no longer have real Rabbis like in previous generations, and so contemporary Torah scholars do not need to be respected. This is incorrect. The status of “Talmid Haham” (Torah scholar) is relative to the standards of every generation. Thus, in our times, if a Rabbi immerses himself in Torah learning, and he can teach an involved Sugya (Talmudic subject), share an insightful piece of Torah, and teach Halacha, then he is Halachically considered a full-fledged “Talmid Hacham” who must be respected. As such, the sin of speaking Lashon Ha’ra about such a Rabbi is particularly grievous, and even in our generation, one who besmirches or disgraces a Rabbi is worthy of Herem (excommunication).
It is an even more severe transgression to speak negatively about the Rabbi of a synagogue, as this has the effect of undermining the congregation’s respect for him and his authority. This, in turn, hampers the Rabbi’s ability to do his job, such as to maintain decorum during the service, deliver sermons and classes, and resolve communal issues, because he has now lost the congregants’ respect. The moment the people no longer respect the Rabbi, he can no longer function as their Rabbi, and so speaking Lashon Ha’ra about a congregational Rabbi is considered a particularly grave violation.