Lesson #59: Avoiding Blame
Some families, when looking for a house to buy, take into account how a prospective home’s location will affect their Shabbat afternoon nap. They want a block that’s quiet on Shabbat afternoon, without children running around and making noise, so they can enjoy their Shabbat afternoon nap, in fulfillment of the Misva of Oneg Shabbat (enjoyment on Shabbat).
Imagine a neighbor comes outside and walks angrily past another neighbor. The second neighbor asks if something is wrong, and the first neighbor shouts, “You know, when I moved onto this block, I assumed that I’d be able to enjoy a nice nap on Shabbat afternoon. But recently, the noise in the street on Shabbat afternoon has been intolerable. Kids are running around, playing ball, and making such a racket. It’s not right. Where are the parents? Don’t they realize that people want to sleep on Shabbat afternoon?
The second neighbor realizes that this neighbor is accusing her and her kids – but she knows that her kids don’t make noise on the street on Shabbat afternoon. In fact, she has them take a nap at that time. Is she allowed to come to her and her kids’ defense by telling the neighbor which kids are the ones who make noise?
Halacha in this situation allows the woman in this case to avoid blame by explaining that her children do not make noise on Shabbat afternoon, but not to identify the children who make the noise. Whenever somebody is wrongly suspected or blamed, he is allowed to defend himself and profess his innocence, but he is not allowed to identify the culprit. Doing so violates the prohibition of Lashon Ha’ra, even though this is done to defend oneself.
However, one is permitted to profess innocence even though the person will then know who the guilty party is through the process of elimination. For example, if there are only two families with children who could be making noise on the street, and thus once the neighbor explains that her children do not make noise, the other neighbor will easily deduce which children do make noise, the neighbor is nevertheless allowed to defend herself. It is permissible to avoid blame by defending oneself even if the person will then be able on his own to realize who the guilty party is.
It should be noted that when it comes to this Halacha, there is a level “Lifnim Mi’shurat Ha’din” – beyond the strict halachic obligation – which one attains by taking the blame for other people. The Talmud tells a number of stories of exceptional Rabbis who falsely confessed to certain wrongs in order to save their peers from embarrassment. This is, of course, a very high level of piety, perhaps beyond what can be expected from the vast majority of us. However, we need to internalize that a person who is selfless, and willing to make sacrifices for others, is worthy of G-d’s special protection and assistance, and just as he selflessly goes out of his way for others, so will Hashem come through for him.