Lesson #62: Stoking the Fires
The prohibition of Rechilut, as we’ve discussed, forbids making a comment to somebody about another person which will evoke within him feelings of hostility towards that other person.
Let us imagine two business partners, Reuven and Shimon, who were embroiled in a bitter dispute. The business took a sharp downward turn, and each blamed the other. They ended up breaking the partnership, and they harbored bitter feelings of resentment and animosity toward one another. When they came to shul, they spoke openly to their fellow congregants about their feelings. Reuven would regularly badmouth Shimon, and Shimon would regularly badmouth Reuven. These two simply despised one another, and this was known to everybody in the congregation.
One day, Reuven’s nephew approaches him and tells him about what happened that day in shul. Shimon spoke about Reuven to an entire group of people, lambasting him and saying terrible things about him.
Did the nephew violate the prohibition of Rechilut?
We might assume that if Rechilut means saying something which evokes feelings of hostility, then it is not relevant in this case, where the feelings of hostility were already present, and already fierce. Seemingly, the nephew did nothing wrong, because Reuven already hated Shimon even before he heard that Shimon spoke disparagingly about him to other people.
However, the Halacha is that even stoking the fire of conflict and anger constitutes Rechilut. Despite the fact that Reuven already resented Shimon, it would be strictly forbidden to share information with Reuven that would intensify these feelings of hostility. It makes no difference that they are bitter enemies, because even adding a log to the fire, further exacerbating the angry feelings, is forbidden by the prohibition of Rechilut.
If a person stokes the fire of anger and hostility, Hashem turns to this person and says, “I’ve been crying over this fight. I wait eagerly each and every day for somebody to come along and put out the fire. Instead, you added more fuel. How could you do such a thing?!”
When the fire of anger is raging, we should be working to extinguish it – not to fan the flames.