Lesson #65: Avoiding Rechilut
The prohibition of Rechilut, as we have been discussing, forbids informing a person of something which somebody else said about him, or did to harm him, thereby causing him to resent that other person. It is forbidden to share information that will cause feelings of hostility between two Jews.
An example would be when a person looks out the window and sees one of his neighbors speaking angrily to another neighbor, while pointing to the construction which the person peering from the window is doing on his house. He right away suspects that this neighbor is upset that he’s doing construction, by the way he’s doing construction, by the noise being made, or by the fact that he did not first obtain a permit.
The person waits until the conversation ends, and he sees the angry neighbor leave. He right away runs outside to the other neighbor and says, “I saw you talking to that other guy. His eyes were fixated on the construction I’m doing, and he was pointing. He looked upset. What is he angry about? Why is he so upset?”
It is strictly forbidden for the neighbor to reveal to the person what the other neighbor had said about him, as this would constitute outright Rechilut, causing friction between these two Jews. This applies even if the person doing the construction applies pressure, saying, “You have to tell me! I’m not letting you go. We’re friends! I need to know what he’s upset about!” Even if he puts the neighbor’s back to the wall, the neighbor is not permitted to divulge what the other neighbor said about this fellow, because it will evoke feelings of tension and animosity. In fact, Halacha allows the neighbor to distort the truth about his conversation with the other neighbor, in order to maintain peaceful relations between that other neighbor and the man doing the construction.
Furthermore, Halacha forbids informing someone about what another person said about him even if he does not mention that other person by name, if he gives enough details that the fellow will be able to identify the unnamed individual who spoke about him. Although he does not mention the name, nevertheless, since sharing the information will ultimately have the effect of causing friction between two Jews, it is forbidden.
We are to do whatever we can to bring Jews closer to one another. The fact that Halacha allows even speaking inaccurately for the sake of avoiding Rechilut demonstrates just how important peaceful relations are, and the extent to which we must endeavor to keep our fellow Jews together, and avoid at all costs anything which will cause them to drift apart.