Lesson #72: Old News
In the past, many families would spend summers in bungalow colonies, living in small, cramped bungalows. The nights were sometimes very difficult, as the children were crowded together in just one or two rooms, the weather was uncomfortably hot, and the air conditioners were not always very effective.
Imagine one morning, two men are on their way to the shul in the bungalow colony, and one notices that the other looks very tired, as though he is half asleep.
“Everything ok?” he asks.
“My goodness, I didn’t sleep a wink,” the other fellow says. “My kids kept my up all night. Not that it’s their fault. We only have two bedrooms, so the six kids sleep in one room, and my wife and I in the other. It’s pandemonium, every night. As soon as one kid wakes up, all the others wake up, too… And then we have to start all over again…at 2am, then at 4am… I don’t know how I’m going to get through the summer like this.”
The other follow, genuinely empathizing with what this neighbor is going through, says, “Wow, that is rough. It’s just the beginning of the summer, and you’re already having trouble… I remember the time a few years ago when you wanted to expand your bungalow, and Mr. Klein next door wouldn’t sign the permission slip, and threatened to take you to Bet Din if you built an extension. If only he would have allowed you to expand, you wouldn’t be going through all this trouble now.”
This fellow recalled a fight that the neighbor had with Mr. Klein several years back – an incident which the neighbor quite obviously still remembers very well. Nevertheless, even though he did not tell the neighbor any new information, he has violated the prohibition of Rechilut, because bringing back these memories has the effect of “stirring the pot,” intensifying the feelings of anger and resentment. Making any comment which ignites hostility, even to a small extent, is forbidden by force of the prohibition of Rechilut, and thus one may not mention to somebody a past incident involving a person who wronged him or caused him distress. This is especially so in our case, where the comment was made at a time when the person was suffering the consequences of what Mr. Klein had done. Even though the neighbor does not bring any new information of which the person was previously unaware, nevertheless, he violates the prohibition of Rechilut because his remark intensifies the feelings of resentment.
Likewise, it would be forbidden to remind somebody of a time when he was taken to Bet Din, as this further intensifies his hostility toward the plaintiff, who caused him grief.
Let us try to ensure to recall only fond, pleasant memories, ones that can be enjoyed and relished, rather than bringing up unpleasant and painful memories that ignite tensions between Jews.