Lesson #81: Right in Front of Him
The prohibition of Rechilut forbids informing a person of what somebody else did, if this will arouse within the listener feelings of hostility towards that fellow. And if a person hears Rechilut about somebody, that this fellow spoke or acted against him, he is not permitted to believe the information.
Remarkably, Halacha forbids believing that somebody spoke negatively about him even if he hears about it in that person’s presence. For example, let us imagine that Reuven and Shimon are walking into shul one morning, and Reuven turns to Shimon and says, “So I decided to enroll my son in the yeshiva that we went to as kids. What about you? Where did you decide to send your kid?”
Shimon replies, “I was going to send him to the new yeshiva in the neighborhood, but after hearing all the stuff you told me about it, I decided to go with the old yeshiva, like you.”
As it so happens, the Rosh Yeshiva of the new yeshiva is standing right there, and hears the entire exchange. He hears Shimon mention to Reuven that Reuven had spoken disparagingly about the new institution.
Despite hearing this directly from Shimon in Reuven’s presence, the Rosh Yeshiva is not permitted to believe that Reuven spoke negatively about his yeshiva. And even though Reuven did not deny having made such remarks, nevertheless, the Rosh Yeshiva must give Reuven the benefit of the doubt, and not believe what Shimon said. In fact, even if the Rosh Yeshiva knows that Reuven is not the kind of person who would remain silent when being accused of something he did not do, the Rosh Yeshiva is still not permitted to believe that Reuven spoke this way. In such a case, the Rosh Yeshiva has every reason to assume that Reuven spoke disparagingly about his institution and discouraged parents from enrolling their children there, and thus has reason to resent Reuven, but nevertheless, he is not allowed to believe this or to harbor negative feelings toward Reuven.
Hashem judges us favorably far more than we can ever imagine. He could find fault in everything we do, but He is judges mercifully, and gives us the benefit of the doubt, viewing us in a positive light. And so He demands that we do the same for our fellowman, and go to the greatest lengths to judge other people favorably and give them the benefit of the doubt.