Lesson #82: Those Kids Again
Imagine Mrs. Weinstein is coming home one day, and as she approaches her apartment building, she looks up, and can’t believe her eyes – one of the windows to her apartment is broken. She looks carefully, and notices the shape of the hole in the glass. Without question, a ball flew into the window and broke it.
Mrs. Weinstein is furious.
“I know who did it,” she fumes. “It’s the kids from the downstairs apartment. I’ve told them so many times not to play hardball in the street. I told them over and over again to go to the park, warning that they might break a window. I see those kids playing in the street every day. I’m sure it’s them. I’m going over there right now to make sure that they pay for the damage!”
In this situation, Mrs. Weinstein is permitted to consider the possibility that the damage was caused by her downstairs neighbors so that she can receive the compensation she rightfully deserves for the damage. She is not, however, allowed to definitively conclude that they are the culprits. Even if other people tell her that they saw those kids playing hardball in the street that day, she is not allowed to definitively conclude that they broke her window, and feel resentment towards them.
Similarly, if a person loses his job, and he starts asking himself why and how this happened, he might naturally pin the blame on a certain individual, such as a coworker who, he suspects, slandered or badmouthed him to the employer. Despite his understandable grief, the person is not permitted to believe that this coworker caused him to lose his job, and thus feel resentful toward that coworker. Of course, if a person is still employed, and has reason to suspect that a coworker is conspiring to have him fired, then he is certainly allowed to do what he needs to do to protect himself. And if, as in the case of Mrs. Weinstein, one suffered a loss for which he might be able to receive compensation, then he is allowed to do what he can to receive the compensation he deserves. But even in such case, it is forbidden to conclusively believe that somebody acted wrongly.
Sometimes it is difficult for us to truly believe that הרבה שלוחים יש למקום, that Hashem sends “messengers” to help us, and also sends “messengers” to take things away from us when He determines that this is what needs to happen. We have trouble letting things go, and remembering that everything in our lives is fully under Hashem’s control. When we suffer any kind of loss, the best gift we can give ourselves is a healthy dose of Emuna, letting go, without feelings of resentment and without seeking revenge. We must remember that if Hashem has run the world for the last 5,782 years, then He must know what He’s doing, and everything is going to be ok.