Lesson #91: The “Dust” of Rechilut
As we’ve discussed, the prohibition of Rechilut forbids relaying to somebody that which another person said about him or did to him, thereby arousing hostile feelings toward that other person. Unless this is information is shared for the sake of enabling the individual to protect himself from that other person in the future, sharing the information is forbidden, as we are not permitted to arouse feelings of hostility between two Jews.
There are also situations of “Abak Rechilut” – literally, “the dust of Rechilut,” where the negative information was not stated explicitly, but rather subtly indicated.
Imagine that Reuven is walking down the street and his friend, Shimon, approaches him and says, “Hey, Reuven, I hear that your daughter just started Shidduchim!”
Reuven looks at Shimon in shock.
“How did you hear about that?” he asks. “We’ve been doing this under the radar, quietly taking suggestions. How did this information get out?”
Shimon replies that he heard that Reuven’s neighbor, Levi, received a phone call from somebody inquiring about Reuven’s family, as they considered the possibility of a match between their son and Reuven’s daughter.
“Really?” Reuven asks. “Do you know what Levi said about my family?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t go there,” Levi answers.
“What?” Reuven asks incredulously. “He said something bad about me?”
“No,” Levi says. “He just told the father that he should probably talk to somebody else.”
In this story, Shimon did not tell Reuven something negative that Levi said about him, and, as such, it does not meet the strict criteria of “Rechilut.” Nevertheless, the information he shared certainly aroused within Reuven feelings of hostility toward Levi. After all, Levi’s response to the boy’s father clearly conveyed the message that he does not have positive things to say about Reuven’s family, and thus Reuven will naturally feel resentful. Sharing such information falls under the category of “Abak Rechilut,” which is also forbidden. Even though this does not qualify as actual Rechilut, it nevertheless constitutes a subsidiary of Rechilut, which is no less forbidden than Rechilut itself.
Lashon Ha’ra and Rechilut are like poison – and a derivative of poison must be avoided just like poison itself. Therefore, just as outright Rechilut is forbidden, so is it forbidden to speak “Abak Rechilut,” sharing even non-explicit information that will arouse a person’s hostility towards his fellow.