Lesson #92: The Lawnmower
A man is mowing his lawn when suddenly, his lawnmower breaks. Seeing that he still has half his lawn to mow, he thinks of which neighbor he can approach to borrow his lawnmower. He remembers that just the other day, he saw one neighbor mowing with what appeared to be a high-quality lawnmower. He goes over to the neighbor’s house and knocks on the door.
After a few minutes of friendly small talk, the man explains the reason why he had come – to ask if he could borrow the neighbor’s lawnmower, because his suddenly broke.
“Listen,” the neighbor says, “I would really love to help, but I recently bought this special, high-end lawnmower that is exceedingly delicate. If you don’t know how to use it properly, the blades will snap. I’m very sorry, but I’m just not comfortable lending it out.”
The other fellow, disappointed and somewhat startled, has to stop himself from saying, “Really? I heard that just a few days ago, your lent out your lawnmower to our other neighbor down the block. What do you mean that you don’t lend it out?!” He stops himself from saying this because he knows that this would not be nice, putting the neighbor in a very uncomfortable position.
In truth, making this remark would not only have placed the neighbor in an uncomfortable position, but would have also violated the prohibition of “Abak Rechilut.” Of course, this would not have been outright Rechilut, because the man would not have explicitly reported to the neighbor something which somebody said about him or did to him. However, this remark would have aroused negative feelings toward that neighbor, who spread the word that the other neighbor lent him his state-of-the-art lawnmower. When somebody does a favor, he does not want the beneficiary to tell others about it, because he will then be approached by a lot of people requesting that favor. Therefore, by mentioning to the neighbor that he knows that he had lent his lawnmower to a different neighbor, the fellow would have been in violation of the prohibition of “Abak Ribit,” indirectly arousing within the neighbor feelings of resentment towards another Jew.
If we need a favor, and the person we ask turns down our request, we should just let it go. If he cannot or will not do it, then somebody else likely can and will. The most important thing is to maintain peaceful relations with our neighbors and friends, so let us not have hard feelings if the answer is “no.”