Lesson #94: Revealing a Secret
A family was going through a very difficult period with a child who was seriously ill. He needed periodic treatments out of town, and so they would be away from home for long periods of time. They decided to keep the matter private, and not speak about it with anyone. They understood that, as our Sages teach, blessing is bestowed upon that which is סמוי מן העין, hidden and private. The neighbors realized that they were frequently away for extended periods, but the parents always dodged the question, rather than explain what was really happening. They were hoping and praying that the child would soon be cured, and then everything would return to normal without anybody hearing about it.
The only person they told was the father’s Havruta (study partner). After all, the father was frequently missing their learning sessions, and he felt obliged to explain to his Havruta why he was away so often, in order not to lose this Havruta, with whom he very much enjoyed learning. And so he shared with his Havruta the confidential information that his child had a complicated medical condition that required frequent, extended hospital stays out of town.
Halacha forbids the Havruta from sharing this information with other people. Doing so would strictly violate the prohibitions of Lashon Ha’ra and Rechilut. When somebody reveals something personal to his fellow in confidence, that fellow is not allowed to relay that information to anybody. It is as though the information was told to him with an explicit disclaimer that it may not be spread, that nobody else is allowed to know about it.
Besides violating these grave prohibitions, sharing private, confidential information constitutes a severe breach of trust, and a betrayal of the friendship. When somebody discloses personal information to a close friend, this is usually at a time when the person very much needs loyal friendship. The friend must therefore ensure not to betray this friendship, honor the trust shown to him, and refrain from divulging the information to anybody.