The Torah commands in Parashat Kedoshim (Vayikra 19:26), “Lo Tochelu Al Ha’dam” – literally, “Do not eat over blood.” The Gemara in Masechet Sanhedrin explains this verse as forbidding acting in the manner of a “Ben Sorer U’moreh” (“wayward son”), whom the Torah discusses later, in the Book of Debarim (21:18-20). This son is described as “Zolel Ve’sobeh” – gluttonous, overindulging in meat and wine. The Torah there in Debarim commands putting the youngster to death because of his wrongful conduct. The Gemara notes that the Torah assigns punishment only to those who have violated an explicit command – and thus the Torah must have issued a command forbidding the conduct of the “Ben Sorer U’moreh.” This command, the Gemara explains, is “Lo Tochelu Al Ha’dam,” which is to be understood as forbidding eating in such a way that can lead to bloodshed. A gluttonous person becomes addicted to food and wine, to the point where he is prepared to resort to violence when necessary to obtain them. Hence, when the Torah commands, “Lo Tochelu Al Ha’dam,” it forbids gluttonous eating and drinking, which can bring a person to commit murder.
In explaining the reason behind this prohibition, the Sefer Ha’hinuch writes that overindulgence in food and drink results in sinful behavior. This is expressed in a number of different contexts, including in the verse in Parashat Ha’azinu (Devarim 32:15), “Va’yishman Yeshurun Vayib’at…Va’yitosh Elo’kah Asahu” – “Yeshurun [Israel] became fattened and rebelled…and abandoned the G-d who made them.” When we are preoccupied with worldly pleasures, we are prone to rebel against G-d. The reason, the Sefer Ha’hinuch explains, is because food nourishes the flesh, our physical beings, whereas Torah and spiritual engagement nourish the soul. These two entities – the body and soul – are polar opposites of one another, such that the more we tend to the body, the more we neglect the soul. The righteous focus their attention on attaining spiritual “nourishment,” and so they exercise moderation in their physical indulgence, in order to give primacy to the soul. If a person does just the opposite, focusing his attention mainly on physical delights, he compromises his spiritual sustenance, and can thus easily be led to sinful behavior.
Although this message is, of course, relevant at all ages and in all stages of life, nevertheless, the prohibition of “Lo Tochelu Al Ha’dam” applies only during early adulthood – specifically, during the first three months after a boy becomes a Halachic adult (usually at 13 years of age). The Sefer Ha’hinuch explains that it is especially important for a youngster who begins adulthood to develop the critically important skill of self-restraint and avoid overindulgence, and so the Torah forbade gluttonous eating and drinking specifically during the first months of adulthood.
While we must avoid overindulgence generally, the particular prohibition of “Lo Tochelu Al Ha’dam” refers specifically to the conduct of a “Ben Sorer U’moreh.” Namely, the youngster steals money from his parents in order to purchase meat and wine, and he eats partially-cooked meat (“Ke’ma’achal Ben Derusai”) and partially-diluted wine – the way criminals eat and drink. Interestingly, the youngster does not violate this prohibition if he partakes of non-kosher meat and wine, or if he eats this way on a fast day, when eating and drinking are forbidden. The “Ben Sorer U’moreh” is described as somebody who disobeys his parents (“Enenu Shome’a Be’kol Abiv” – Devarim 21:18), implying that it is only they whom he disobeys. If a youngster acts gluttonously in a Halachically forbidden manner, such that he also disobeys G-d, he does not meet the criteria of a “Ben Sorer U’moreh.”
This Halacha applies only in the Land of Israel. The Torah in Debarim speaks of the parents bringing the child to the court which then puts him to death – and courts are authorized to administer capital punishment only in the Land of Israel. Hence, this command does not apply outside the land.
This prohibition applies only to boys, and not to girls.
The Gemara brings a debate among the Tanna’im as to whether there ever was a situation of a young man who met all the criteria of “Ben Sorer U’moreh” and was put to death. According to one view, such a situation will never happen, and the Torah presented this law only so that “Derosh Ve’kabel Sechar” – we can learn this subject and thereby receive reward. One understanding of this expression is simply that the Torah presented us with additional Torah to learn – even laws which are not practically applicable – so we have more opportunities to earn reward for Torah learning. Alternatively, Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch (Germany, 1808-1888) explained the Gemara’s comment to mean that by learning the laws of “Ben Sorer U’moreh,” we earn the “reward” of raising children properly. These laws express several important principles relevant to childrearing and education, and thus by studying these rules, we receive the “reward” of learning how to raise children effectively.