Good morning, everybody, and welcome to Daily Advice. Today I chose an interesting topic, and we will see where it takes us. It is called stinginess—the miserly person, the cheapskate, or, in more formal language, the penurious person. This is someone who does not like to spend.
A person has to realize that everything the Borei Olam gives him, He gives for a reason. God does not give a person something merely to hold on to and keep. Everything that the Borei Olam gives a person is an opportunity to serve Him, and to gain and earn a portion in the World to Come. Therefore, a person has to realize that having this trait of stinginess is a very, very bad character trait.
I want to tell you something else. Hacham Ovadia writes that sometimes you see very wealthy people who are busy reading Psalms and doing other things, but a person has to know that if he does not give charity, he is missing his goal and his mission. Of course, if he gives charity, that is different. I know there is a reason why a person is given wealth as well: it is to help other people. Therefore, a person has to understand that the Hashem gives him opportunities—opportunities to earn a portion in the World to Come, to build his legacy, and to build his children and his family.
Of course, we know that a person cannot give more than twenty percent. Giving more than that is dangerous. Nevertheless, every opportunity that comes to a person is an opportunity to achieve a portion in the World to Come and to accomplish something meaningful.
There are people, however, who go beyond that, and their stinginess affects even the people in their own homes. Certainly, a person has to teach his children to be self-sustaining and to be happy without the greatest luxuries. It is not good to spoil children. The rabbi is right, because who knows whether the children will be able to maintain such a lifestyle? They should have the basics—basic things—but they should not feel that they are always living under pressure.
What does it do to a child to always feel restricted? What does it do to a wife to always feel restricted? A woman is naturally inclined to have abundance and to be able to help other people, including by preparing a nice meal. Therefore, when a husband is excessively restrictive, he does not allow his wife to reach her potential. Terrible things can result from a person being stingy and cheap.
Of course, we are not saying that a person should be a spendthrift. Being a spendthrift is also not good. Stinginess is a character trait that requires balance: knowing what to give and what not to give, without going to an extreme on either side.
A person also has to understand that valuing money does not mean refusing to part with it. A person should value the money he has, but that does not mean he has to hold on to it. What is it going to do in his pocket? Money sitting in a pocket accomplishes nothing and is worth nothing there. A person has to know, with discernment, how to spend and when to hold back.
If we do that, Hashem will give us more. Have a wonderful day, everybody. Shavua tov.