The Shabbat after Tishah BโAv is famously known as ืฉืืช ื ืืื, a reference to the haftarah read on this Shabbat which tells of Hashemโs call to console the Jewish People as they grieved for the devastating hurban (destruction): ื ืืื ื ืืื ืขืื, ืืืืจ ืืืืงืืื โ โConsole, console My nation, says your G-d.โ
The meaning of ื ืืื (consolation) can be understood from a pasuk in the beginning of Megilat Echah, which we read on Tishah BโAv, that describes what itโs like without ื ืืื. The pasuk says:
ืืื ืชืืื ืืืืื, ืืืืขืชื ืขื ืืืื, ืืื ืื ืื ืื ืืื ืืืืืื.
She [Yerushalayim] cries at night, and her tear is on her cheeks; she has no one from among all who love her giving consolationโฆ
Yerushalayim is described as someone who weeps and grieves alone, with the tears pouring down her face because there is no ืื ืื, no one to comfort her and wipe away her tears.
We live in a very lonely generation. We live in a time where we enjoy unparalleled comforts and so many benefits that previous generations could never have dreamed of, but people today feel so lonely.
We are all so good at putting on a show โ wearing a smile, responding to โHow are youโ with a happy โBaruch Hashem,โ and making it appear as though everything is fine. But everyone is struggling with something, with some fear, some anxiety, something that upsets them, something that depresses them, something that makes them miserable. Even worse, so many people feel they have nobody to talk to, nobody who understands them, nobody who knows what theyโre going through.
ืืื ืชืืื ืืืืื...ืืื ืื ืื ืื ืืื ืืืืืื. People today have many ืืืืืื, friends and family members who like them, but ืืื ืื ืื ืื โ they feel alone. And so ืืื ืชืืื ืืืืื, they cry in hiding, in the dark, alone.
Perhaps the call of ื ืืื ื ืืื ืขืื is directed to each and every one of us. The way we experience ื ืืื, consolation, is by making an active effort to provide ื ืืื to others, to see to it that nobody is alone, that nobody has to cry ืืืืื, in solitude.
A man once overheard someone on the phone โ who turned out to be a gardener โ asking the person on the other line if he needed a gardener. He explained that he is very experienced and does a very good job. The person on the other line said he already had a gardener whom he is very happy with. The gardener then called somebody else, and got the same response. He ended calling 15 people โ and they all said that they already had a gardener whom theyโre happy with.
Finally, the man overhearing the phone calls, feeling very bad for the gardener, approached him and offered to hire him to take care of his lawn.
โSorry,โ the gardener said. โIโm booked. I canโt take on any more customers.โ
The man was startled. โYou just called up 15 people asking them to hire you!!โ
โYou donโt understand,โ the gardener said. โThese are my customers. I work for all of them, but I never receive a single compliment. I called them pretending to be somebody else so I could hear them say that theyโre happy with their gardenerโฆโ
So many people in our community feel this way. They feel alone, unappreciated, unloved, and ignored. But it doesnโt have to be this way.
Is it that difficult to give a compliment? It is that difficult to be gracious? Is it that difficult to give a warm smile? Is it that difficult to pick up the phone and call somebody who lives alone or who is struggling with some problem, and lend an ear? Is it that difficult to go over to a visitor or new member in shul and warmly introduce yourself?
Is it that difficult to reach out, to express concern, to show some warmth and friendship?
ื ืืื ื ืืื ืขืื. Of course, only Hashem can bring us complete consolation, and we pray for it each and every day. But the process starts with the ื ืืื we give each other, by uplifting one another, encouraging one another, and supporting one another, so that no man, woman or child ever feels alone.