The Gemara in Masechet Eruvin cites Rabbi Yehoshua as telling of his experiences when he was once hosted by a certain family. The first night, the woman served a large, scrumptious meal, and he ate everything in his plate. The next night, the woman once again served a spectacular dinner, and he finished every last bit of food he was given. But on the third night, he took one bite…and could not continue eating. The food tasted horrible. It was way too salty.
The woman asked him why he wasn’t eating. The Rabbi had to think fast, and he tried to explain his behavior by saying that he had already eaten earlier, so he wasn’t hungry. The woman questioned his explanation, asking why suddenly that day he had eaten earlier.
The Hid”a, one of the great Sephardic sages, uncovers for us the depth and meaning of this seemingly peculiar story.
He explained that this is a powerful depiction of life.
In our youth, we indulge, and overindulge, in the pleasures of this world. We involve ourselves in vanity and do inappropriate things in our desire to “consume” the entire “plate” – to enjoy everything there is to enjoy in life.
During the next stage of life, in the early part of adulthood, say, in our 30s and 40s, we do the same. We finish the entire “plate,” pursuing more money, more luxury, and more gratification, sometimes doing things that we are not supposed to be doing.
But then, in the third stage, in a person’s later years, the “food” no longer “tastes” good. Older people do not have the same “appetite” as younger people. It is much easier to refrain from forbidden activities in our older years, when they are far less appealing.
The message of this story, the Hid”a explained, is that we must be willing and prepared to leave some of the “food” on the “plate” even when it “tastes” good, when we find it appealing. We don’t get too much credit for abstaining from improper conduct in our older years, when we are not drawn to it. We need to do so when we are still young and find the forbidden “food” appealing.
One of the greatest obstacles to growth and change is the fear we all have of leaving “food” on the “plate.” We are reluctant to change because we are afraid of missing out. Some people are afraid to properly observe Shabbat because they will miss certain activities. Some people are afraid to commit to another Torah class because they will miss the free time. We naturally feel reluctant to make sacrifices, to deny ourselves “food” that looks so appealing.
The solution to this problem is to JUST TRY.
It can’t hurt to try something new for a short while and see how it works out. This is something all of us can do.
There are many things in life we miss out on because we’re afraid to try something new. The way to overcome that fear is to tell ourselves that we’re just going to try and see how it goes. If we find it is too difficult, then at least we’ve tried. That’s all.
The month of Elul is the time when we are supposed to be thinking about how we can change and make ourselves better. If we want this period to have a real effect, we need to overcome our instinctive fear of change, and not be afraid to try new things. This is the first step to what will, hopefully, be a process of real and significant change that will last for the rest of our lives.