Parashat Vaet’hanan begins with Moshe’s plea to Hashem to allow him to enter the Land of Israel. G-d had decreed that Moshe would not enter, and would instead die before Beneh Yisrael crossed into the land, because of his sin of hitting the rock. Now, Moshe begged Hashem to let him cross into the land. Hashem refused, and said to Moshe: רב לך, אל תוסף דבר אלי עוד בדבר הזה – “You have a lot! Do not speak to Me any more about this matter” (3:26).
Rashi explains the words רב לך (“You have a lot”) to mean: הרבה מזה שמור לך – “Much more than this is reserved for you.” Hashem was telling Moshe that he had immense reward awaiting in the next world. He was the greatest man who ever lived. He accomplished more than anyone ever would. He brought Beneh Yisrael out of Egypt, brought them the Torah, and led them for forty years. He had done so much. This is what he should be focusing on – not the one thing that he was not able to have, the privilege of going into Eretz Yisrael.
Some people proudly announce when they reach old age, “I have no regrets.” But this is not true. There is nobody without regrets. Everyone has done things they wish they hadn’t done, and made decisions they wish they hadn’t made. Even the greatest people.
Moshe Rabbenu forfeited the privilege of entering the land because of one bad decision – hitting the rock. Yaakov Avinu made the mistake of giving one son, Yosef, a special garment, which caused the brothers to hate him and sell him as a slave. We can imagine how much they regretted these mistakes, seeing what these mistakes led to.
When we reflect on the wrong decisions we’ve made, we need to remember Hashem’s message to Moshe – רב לך, that we have so much good in our life, even with the bad decisions that we’ve made.
There is also something else we can learn from Moshe’s plea.
Moshe actually made two requests: אעברה נא ואראה את הארץ טובה – “Let me please cross, and I shall see the good land.” He wanted to cross the river into Eretz Yisrael, and, at very least, to be able to see the land.
Hashem denied his first request, but granted his second request. He did not let him into the land, but He told him to climb to the mountaintop and see the Land of Israel.
Even though Moshe’s mistake resulted in his being unable to enter the land, he was still able to see the land. He made the most of the situation.
If we realize we’ve made a bad decision, we must not wallow in self-pity and misery. Living with “what-ifs” – constantly asking ourselves, “What if I did X instead of Y” – is guaranteed to bring us nothing but misery. If we made a bad mistake, we should try to make it work, to make the most of the situation. Instead of wishing we made the right decision, we should work to make our decision right.
Sometimes people look back and wonder if they or their children made the right decision in choosing a marriage partner. Sometimes people look back and wonder if they made the right decision of which career to pursue, or which business to go into. Parents often look back and wonder if they made the right decisions when raising their kids. But living with “what-ifs” is not going to help us. It is only going to make us unhappy. What we should be doing instead is focusing on רב לך, on all that has gone right, and trying to make it even better.
When David committed his sin with Batsheva, she conceived, and later delivered a child. The prophet told David that the baby will die. Sure enough, the baby took gravely ill. David prayed, fasted and cried, begging Hashem to spare the child. After seven days, the infant died. David got up from the floor, bathed, and ate. He explained to his servants that as long as there was a chance that the child would survive, he fasted and prayed. But now that the baby died, there was nothing else to do. And so he got up and resumed his life.
This is the model we should follow when suffering the consequences of our bad decisions. What’s done is done. We should not look back. We should appreciate רב לך, all the good that we have, and move forward, making the best of the situation in which we find ourselves.