Parashat Maseh discusses the subject of ערי מקלט – the “cities of refuge” which were to be designated for the purpose of protecting people who killed somebody by accident. Angry relatives of the victim might want to murder the killer, and so the Torah commanded setting aside special cities where the killer could escape to and be protected from the victim’s relatives seeking revenge.
Included in this mitzvah is a requirement to post signs directing people to these cities. In order to ensure that the accidental killer could reach the עיר מקלט swiftly and easily, without too much trouble or delay, the authorities were to put up signs throughout the country showing the way to these cities.
Rav Aharon Kotler raised the question of why there is no requirement to put up signs directing people to Yerushalayim and the Bet Ha’mikdash. Three times a year – on Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot – there was an obligation of עלייה לרגל, to go to the Bet Ha’mikdash. People would also go there on other occasions, when they needed to bring a sacrifice. Why would the Torah make a point of requiring signs directing accidental killers to the ערי המקלט – something which, hopefully, was not needed very often – but did not require signs to help people each time they needed to go to the Bet Ha’mikdash, which happened at least three times a year?
Rav Kotler gave what I believe is a very important and relevant answer.
He explained that if there were no signs to the ערי מקלט, then the killer would need to ask people along the road for directions. They would then likely start asking him what happened, and he would have to tell them about how he tragically caused somebody’s death. The Torah wants to minimize negative talk, and so it required placing signs, such that the killer would not have to get into this conversation. When somebody is traveling to the Bet Ha’mikdash, however, the Torah specifically wants him to speak to people and tell them where he’s going. They will respond enthusiastically, wishing him a happy Yom Tov, and talking about the privilege of seeing the Bet Ha’mikdash. The Torah did not want signs directing people to the Bet Ha’mikdash so that they will ask for directions, leading to an upbeat, joyous conversation about the Bet Ha’mikdash.
A crucial part of creating and maintaining a nurturing home environment, in which our children can thrive, is generating positivity and avoiding negativity. We need to try, as much as possible, to avoid negative comments and complaints, and to instead shower our children with compliments and praise. We should keep criticism to a minimum, and speak positively as much as we can. This is the kind of environment the Torah wants us to create as a nation, and this is the kind of environment that every family needs to create in their home. It is such an environment in which our children will feel safe, secure, loved, cherished and valued, a feeling which is necessary for them to grow and develop into the outstanding, accomplished people that they are capable of becoming.