There are a lot of problems out there.
If you ever read the news or listen to the radio, you know very well that there are a lot of problems. Violent crime. Corruption. Dirty politics. Economic troubles. And much more.
If you attend my or other Rabbis’ classes, you know very well that there are a lot of problems. This is what we Rabbis are always talking about – the problems with our community and with our society that we need to fix.
But sometimes we need to take a step back and appreciate the other side of the coin.
There are problems – but things aren’t that bad!!! There is plenty of room for optimism. There are many, many reasons to feel good about our community, about our lives, about the Jewish People, and about the world.
We are going to look at ten problems that weigh heavily on all of our minds – including mine!!! – and could get us down, and we’re going to show how the Haggadah teaches us to have a positive, upbeat, optimistic attitude towards all ten.
1) The precarious state of the Jewish State
We are all very concerned about Israel, as well we should be. Whether or not one identifies as a Zionist, we are all worried about our brothers and sisters in the Jewish State who are surrounded on all sides by hostile, ruthless enemies, and we are enraged by the waves of condemnation sounded by the rest of the world every time Israel acts to defend its citizens.
As strong as Israel’s military is, the situation is frightening.
The Haggadah teaches us, though, that our celebration of Hashem’s miracles and His love for the Jewish People is relevant to all times, even times of hardship.
In one passage, the Haggadah emphasizes that the mitzvah to tell the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim applies בשעה שיש מצה מרור ומונחים לפניך – at the time when one is required to eat matzah and marror – meaning, on the night of the seder, and not any earlier. One commentator noted the one thing missing from this passage – the korban pesach, the sacrifice which was a central feature of the seder in the times of the Bet Ha’mikdash. The sacrifice is not mentioned because the Haggadah wants to emphasize that we celebrate our freedom even in hard times, when there is no sacrifice, even when we do not have a Bet Ha’mikdash.
Even in exile – or maybe especially in exile – we remember and celebrate the great miracles Hashem has performed for us, we celebrate the special protection He provides for us.
Yes, Israel faces many challenges. But the Jews have faced far greater challenges, and Hashem has always been there to help.
A famous story circulated during and after the 2014 Gaza War that demonstrates this point, how Hashem is watching over His people.
A group of Rabbis from Bnei-Brak went to harvest wheat in order to produce flour that they would store for matzah baking the next year. As it would soon be shemittah, they needed to harvest the wheat already then, in the early summer. They found a large area with wheat, and negotiated a price with the owner. They came and they harvested all the wheat.
Very soon thereafter, IDF observers detected a group of Hamas terrorists coming out from an underground tunnel in one spot where the wheat had been. With the tall stalks of wheat removed, the terrorists were clearly visible and instantly seen. Within minutes, the IDF killed the terrorists. This incident alerted the army to the underground tunnels that Hamas had been digging for the purpose of infiltrating Israel and killing people.
Hashem is watching us, even now. Even though all we have is matzah and marror, and not the sacrifice, we still celebrate, because Hashem takes care of our people and performs miracles for us even in our times, and He always will.
2) These are our leaders??
When we look at the figures who lead the world’s major countries, we can get very, very frightened. The people in charge of the world, those who are making the important decisions that directly affect billions of people, all seem to be either corrupt, inept, or both. That’s a very scary thought.
One of the pesukim cited in the Haggadah is the pasuk that tells of Pharaoh’s decision to enslave Beneh Yisrael after seeing how fast they were growing, and fearing that they posed a threat. The Midrash relates that Pharaoh convened a meeting with his three advisors – Bilam, Iyov and Yitro. Bilam suggested killing Beneh Yisrael. Yitro ran away. And Iyov kept quiet.
One of the commentaries pointed out that all three of these men seemed to act unusually. Bilam, as we know from later in the Torah, knew how to effectively curse nations. Why didn’t he just curse Beneh Yisrael? Yitro at that point was not yet a G-d-fearing, righteous person. Why did he run away? And Iyov was a righteous person – so why was he silent when it was suggested that innocent people be killed and enslaved?
The explanation is that the conduct of political leaders and their advisors is controlled by Hashem.
Almost every elected official does things differently than what he promised during the campaign. Maybe many of them are just liars. But there’s also another reason – once they become public figures, their decisions are controlled by Hashem. Whatever ideas and plans they had before assuming office can materialize only if Hashem wants them to.
Our public officials don’t make the decisions. Hashem does.
When we read about the presidents that governed the United States, we realize how virtually every one of them either was incompetent, or died in office. A large number of presidents left office with approval ratings of 20 or 30 percent. And yet, in the last almost 250 years, the United States has become the most prosperous, most successful and freest country in world history. How? Because the president isn’t in control. Hashem is.
Yes, the quality of political leaders today is frightening. But the same G-d who took care of us when Pharaoh was king can take care of us no matter who the president of our country is.
3) What’s going to be with these kids?!?
Which parent doesn’t ask himself or herself at least once a day the question, “What’s going to be with these kids?!!”
We’re all worried. And we’re worried because virtually all kids have issues. It could be academic, psychological or social. It could be religious. Whatever is, we’re all worried about our kids. As well we should be.
But the Haggadah has an answer for this, too.
The Haggadah instructs us how to speak to four different types of children at the seder, including the שאינו יודע לשאול – the child who is incapable of even asking questions. This is a kid that parents definitely are going to worry about – the kid is on such a low level, or is so disinterested, that he does not even ask questions. The Haggadah tells the parent of such a child, את פתח לו – “you initiate for him.”
Many commentators noted that the Haggadah speaks here to the mother – את. The secret to opening up a child is through the warmth, care and love of a devoted mother. If the child has parents who truly care, who are involved, who are loving, who are supportive and who work hard for the child, then the child will be ok.
Sometimes in the school where I teach, when we’re meeting about a certain child who is having problems, I reassure the staff, saying, “He has amazing parents. He’ll be ok.”
We should be worried about our kids, but we should also remember, את פתח לו. If our kids see us extending ourselves for them and showing them love and concern, they’ll be fine.
4) Are they going to get married?
This is a big one.
A girl reaches the age of 22, 23, 25, 28 – and the parents are panicking. They can’t help asking themselves, “Will she ever get married????”
In one of the pesukim mentioned in the Haggadah, Hashem talks about the history of our nation, how He brought Avraham Avinu to Eretz Yisrael, and He says, וארבה את זרעו – He made Avraham’s descendants numerous.
True, we are a very small nation compared to most others in the world, but one thing is for sure: no person who was alive in Avraham Avinu’s time has as many descendants today who identify as his descendants as Avraham does!
But just as significant is the fact that this did not happen right away. And it did not happen easily.
Hashem first made this promise to Avraham – that a large nation would descend from him – when he was 75, at which point he had no children. He did not have his son Yitzhak until 25 years later!! Yitzhak did not get married until he was 40, and did not have children until he was 60. Yaakov likewise got married in his 60s.
Yet, here we are, 15 million strong.
Hashem promised Avraham he would produce a large nation, and He fulfilled His promise. It did not happen quickly or easily, but it happened.
In our community in Brooklyn there are three main banquet halls where weddings are held. Between Purim and Pesach, all three are booked for weddings virtually every night. That means there are three weddings every night in our community during these weeks.
Yes, there are too many older singles, and this is a problem that we need to address. But let’s also realize that there are, baruch Hashem, many, many young men and women who are meeting, getting married and building families. It’s happening. It might happen slowly, and it might entail a long, grueling process, but it’s happening.
5) What do we do about the internet and smartphone?
Who hasn’t worried about what technology is doing to our youth? Or even to our adults? About the awful and dangerous stuff that people are being exposed to? About the distraction, about the addiction, about how technology is making it so difficult to focus on our studies, on our relationships, on everything that’s important to us?
This is truly a matter of grave concern.
But let’s return to וארבה את זרעו – Hashem’s promise to Avraham that a huge nation would descend from him.
We read in the Torah that when Hashem made this promise, He told Avraham that his descendants would be numerous כחול הים – “like the sand of the seashore.” Why did Hashem compare the Jewish People to the sand on the beach?
The Malbim explains that when a wave approaches the shore, it appears as though it is going to take over the entire area, and flood the region. But in the end, of course, it recedes. Then another wave comes and threatens to take over the shore, but it, too, recedes, leaving the shore perfectly intact. And this happens again and again. The beachfront is threatened by what seems to be an overwhelming force – but in the end, it is fine.
The same is true of the Jewish Nation.
In every generation, in every era, there is a different “wave” that threatens to overtake us. We’ve been through so many different kinds of challenges. There have been many different kinds of nations that threatened to destroy us, many different forms of hatred and hostility, and many different spiritual threats. And we’ve survived each and every one. Every wave that seemed ready to overwhelm us ultimately receded. We’re still here.
Somebody mentioned to me that when the telephone was first created, people were probably very concerned about what it would do to religious life. it facilitates a great deal of wasted time and lashon ha’ra, and it can interfere with marriages if spouses spend too much time on the phone. But somehow, we managed.
True, the smartphone is a much large and more frightening “wave” than the regular landline phone. But we’ll survive this threat, too. And we’ll survive whatever threats come after it. Because we are Am Yisrael. We were created to be כחול הים – like the beach, which remains intact no matter how many waves threaten to overtake it.
6) What’s happening to our community?
I hear people all the time expressing concern about our community. They see the kinds of parties people have, the way people dress, the way people spend Shabbat, and so many other things, and they are afraid that our community is headed in the wrong direction.
Once again, let’s turn to the Haggadah for a more optimistic outlook.
On the night of the seder, we have a special mitzvah to drink four cups of wine, and these four cups are commonly associated with the four expressions used by Hashem when He promised to free Beneh Yisrael from Egypt (והוצאתי, והצלתי, וגאלתי, ולקחתי). But one commentator suggests a different explanation – that the four cups correspond to the four things which Beneh Yisrael refused to change in Egypt: their names, their clothing, their language, and their group identity.
We commemorate all this by drinking wine – because the grapevine, unlike virtually all other trees, cannot be grafted together with a different tree.
The four cups of wine celebrate our uniqueness, our separateness, that even though we lived for over 200 years in a foreign country, we retained our special identity. Beneh Yisrael were very, very far from perfect in Egypt. They had many problems. But they were saved and redeemed because they retained their identity.
The same can be said of our community.
Yes, we have problems, and nobody knows about, and is worried about, these problems more than us Rabbis. But there are also many, many remarkable qualities that we can and should be proud of. Not the least of which is our uniqueness, the way that we insist on maintaining our group identity.
We are like the grape – we stick to our own identity and refuse to let go. We do everything together. We look out for one another. We stick to our traditions. We proudly cling to our heritage. And this is what is going to guarantee our success going forward, even with all the problems that we face.
7) Who can afford to live like this?
Another “hot topic” is the cost of living in our community. Let’s face it: it costs a fortune to raise a family here. Home costs, tuition, food, clothing, semachot – the sums are astronomical!
We begin the maggid section of the seder by recalling that in Egypt we ate matzah – “poor man’s bread”: הא לחמא עניא די אכלו אבהתנא. We then, strangely, extend an invitation to anyone who needs a meal: כל דכפין ייתי וייכול – “Whoever is hungry may come and eat!” What a strange way to begin this part of the seder!! Why are we inviting guests now, after kiddush?!
I often reminisce about what it was like when I was a teenager, and how scared I was. I wondered if I would ever get married, if I would ever be liked, if I would ever make a living. When I sit around the seder table together with, baruch Hashem, my large family, extended family and guests, I am amazed. I was so worried that this could never happen, but it did.
I feel so blessed, but I also feel so inspired – and so encouraged. I am encouraged to know that although there are things that worry me, there were many things that worried me in my past that eventually worked out wonderfully.
As we begin the seder, we look at the beautiful table and we reflect on the time when this seemed impossible. In Egypt, we had nothing. No money, no freedom, no dignity. And now we are able to sit down to a lavish, festive meal with a room full of guests.
If we ever start wondering how we will ever manage, we need to remember that we were once lowly slaves in Egypt who seemed to have no future. Somehow, we ended up being where we are today. Hashem brought us to the present, and He’ll bring us to the future.
Everyone in our community has either parents, grandparents or great-grandparents who were poor immigrants. Through natural means, we should not be where we are today. It seems impossible that our community became what it is in under 100 years. But it happened.
How will we make it in the years to come? The same way our great-grandparents made it, our grandparents made it, our parents made, and we’ve made it until now. None of this makes sense. But somehow, we went from eating poor man’s bread to living the life we live today – and so we can trust in the future, as well.
8) What’s the economy going to look like?
No industry seems safe. The economy is constantly shifting and evolving. Businesses that thrive one day collapse the next. The situation is so fragile!
The Torah gives two descriptions of Beneh Yisrael crossing the sea after leaving Egypt. First, it says that they journeyed בתוך הים ביבשה – “in the midst of the sea, on dry land,” but then later it says that they traveled ביבשה בתוך הים – “in dry land, in the midst of the sea.”
One explanation is that the first pasuk tells us what happened at that time, and the second pasuk tells us what has happened ever since then.
Beneh Yisrael traveled through the sea, in the water, and then the water split for them, and they traveled on dry land. From that time on, we’ve realized that even when we travel on dry land, when things seem safe and secure, we are really בתוך הים – in a dangerous ocean!
The message of the miracles of Yetziat Mitzrayim is that Hashem is ALWAYS bringing us “through the sea.” At all times, He is assisting us and supporting us. Sometimes we think we’re on “dry land,” in a secure position, and sometimes we think we’re in “the sea,” in a precarious financial state, but there is really no difference. It’s all the same at every moment. Hashem is always taking care of us.
Yes, the economy is constantly changing. But Hashem doesn’t change. He’s cared for us until now, and He’ll care for us in the future.
9) Fill in the blank…
This ninth point of concern has no title – because it’s different for every person.
This is whatever personal pain, crisis, problem or challenge that you are dealing with. For some people it’s their marriage. For others it’s their relationship with a parent, a child, or some other family member. For some it’s a serious psychological problem, or perhaps an addiction. For others it’s the pain of losing a loved one, the emotional wound that refuses to heal.
The Hida explains that the four expressions refer to the four stages in which the process of redemption unfolded:
· After the first plague, Beneh Yisrael were no longer forced to perform backbreaking labor, but they were still slaves.
· After the fifth plague, they were no longer forced to work at all, but they remained trapped in Egypt.
· After the tenth and final plague, they were allowed to leave Egypt.
· When they arrived at Mount Sinai, they received the Torah and became Hashem’s servants.
We drink four cups of wine to express the fact that redemption does not take place in an instant. It unfolds gradually, step by step.
Whatever challenge a person is going through, he needs to know that redemption is a multistep process. The situation will improve gradually.
If one job doesn’t work out, it means we’re one step closer to the job that will. If one shidduch did not work out, it means we’re one step closer to the one that will. If a husband and wife hit a rough patch in their marriage, they could use this experience to work towards improving their relationship. Just because we fail or have trouble doesn’t mean it’s all over. All blessings in life take time.
This is the message of the four cups. We need to be patient!! If we’re having a hard time with something, we need to try to stay positive, to realize that things can and will get better, slowly but surely, one step at a time.
10) Will he ever come?
This final concern is one which, unfortunately, we don’t speak about enough: Will Mashiach ever come?
In the Haggadah we say, ברוך שומר הבטחתו לישראל – “Blessed is He who keeps His promise to Israel.” The word שומר does not mean simply “keep.” It also means anticipation. The Torah says that after Yaakov Avinu heard about Yosef’s dreams, שמר את הדבר – he looked forward to their being realized. The same is true about Hashem and His promise of redemption. He is looking forward to redeeming us. He wants to bring Mashiach.
The Bet Ha’levi commented that just like Hashem took our ancestors out of Egypt after 210 years, even though they were supposed to have remained there for 400 years, He can redeem us at any moment. He wants it to happen, and it can happen at any time. We need to believe it. We need to believe that it can happen very soon.
So let’s stop worrying, and start realizing that things aren’t really so bad, and that Hashem is in full control!!