Parashat Pekudeh begins with numbers. After the Mishkan was built, Moshe presented an accounting of the precious metals – the gold, silver, and copper – which Beneh Yisrael had donated for the building of the Mishkan, detailing how much was collected and what it was used for.
The Midrash asks the simple question of why this was necessary. After all, Hashem Himself said about Moshe, בכל ביתי נאמן הוא – he was the most reliable and trustworthy person. He was above suspicion. So why did he need to make an accounting?
The Midrash explains that there were ליצנים – what we would call “characters,” or “wise guys” – who made false, baseless accusations about Moshe. They claimed that Moshe was rich because he took some of the precious materials that were donated for the Mishkan. In response to these ליצנים, Moshe made an accounting of these valuables.
The Midrash here teaches us something fundamental about communication. Even if you think something is obvious and self-evident, say it. And even when dealing with people whom you might regard as “lower” and less important than you, say it.
Lack of communication can ruin any kind of relationship, and this unfortunately happens quite often. Bosses fail to properly communicate their expectations to their employees, either because they think it’s self-understood, or because they feel it is beneath them to do so. Many women end up firing their housekeepers every few months because they do not make it clear what they want from them. And, most commonly, husbands and wives often get into arguments because their wishes and expectations are not clearly expressed, and they each assume that the other should know on his or her own what to do or say.
Moshe didn’t think that these ליצנים were not worth his time. Nor did he take it for granted that he should be trusted. He went through the trouble of making an accounting and recording it – teaching us the simple lesson that we need to just say it, without making assumptions.
One of the reasons why people fail to communicate effectively is because they are afraid they would not know what to say. But the truth is that it isn’t hard to say the right thing. The only rule is to stay positive, and to avoid being nasty or hurtful.
The Torah says about the pit into which Yosef was thrown by his brothers, הבור רק אין בו מים – it was empty, without any water. The Gemara comments that although it did not have water, it did contain something else – snakes and scorpions. Miraculously, Yosef survived. One of the commentators explained that the Torah did not want to say outright that the pit had snakes and scorpions because this would not sound nice. It sounds much more pleasant to simply say that it contained no water, subtly implying that it had deadly snakes and scorpions.
When we speak, we should ensure that no “snakes and scorpions” come out of our mouths. We need to be expressive and communicative – but without hurtful and destructive negativity.
Moshe did not insult those who wrongly accused him. He simply gave them the numbers. He responded without “snakes and scorpions.”
We can improve all our relationships if we follow these two basic rules: we make it very clear to the other person what we want and how we feel, and we avoid remarks that are insulting and nasty.
King Shlomo teaches in Mishleh (18:21), מות וחיים ביד לשון, ואוהביה יאכל פריה – “Death and life are in the hands of the tongue, and those who love it will reap its fruit.” Speech can build or destroy. If we use it properly, ensuring to communicate effectively, then we will “reap its fruit,” and enjoy fulfilling and meaningful relationships with the people in our lives.