Parashat Bereshit tells the famous story of Adam and Havah in Gan Eden, how they were lured by the snake to eat fruit from the forbidden tree. When Hashem first spoke to Adam and Havah and gave them His instructions, He said:
מכל עץ הגן אכול תאכל, ומעץ הדעת טוב ורע לא תאכל ממנו.
You can surely eat from all the trees of the garden, but from the tree of knowledge of good and bad – you shall not eat from it.
Rather than simply commanding Adam and Havah not to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree, Hashem first made a point of telling them, מכל עץ הגן אכול תאכל – that they were allowed and encouraged to enjoy the fruit of all the other trees.
Why was this necessary? Why didn’t Hashem just tell them not to eat from the forbidden tree?
The answer is very powerful, and very relevant to all of us.
Human nature is to focus on the one “forbidden tree,” on what we do not have, on what makes our lives imperfect. We tend to talk a lot, and complain a lot, about that one “tree,” about the small part of our lives that isn’t going the way we want.
And so Hashem introduced His command to Adam and Havah by emphasizing, מכל עץ הגן אכול תאכל, drawing their attention to all that they had, to all the blessing He showered upon them. He was teaching them, and us, to stay focused on the “permissible fruit,” on all that we are able to enjoy, all we are able to achieve and accomplish, instead of getting distracted by the one “tree” that we can’t have, by the little bit that isn’t what we want it to be.
So many people sit around the Shabbat or holiday table and complain about the “forbidden tree,” about the problems that they can do nothing about. They complain about the president or other politicians, about this group or that group, about what this person did or what that person did. Instead of focusing on the things they are able to do and able to enjoy, they focus on everything that bothers them.
One of the most important pieces of non-Torah literature written in recent years in Stephen Covey’s bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Among other things, this book differentiates between our “circle of concern” and our “circle of influence.” Our “circle of concern” consists of everything that we care about. This includes our health, our finances, our family’s wellbeing, our comfort, our religious observance, the weather, politics, what’s happening in Israel, how our favorite sports team is doing, what we’re having for lunch, and everything else that matters to us in some way. Within this very large circle, there is a much smaller circle consisting of the things that we care about and that we can influence, that we can impact in some way. We cannot influence the weather. We cannot influence politics, except when there’s an election, unless we get involved in some political movement. We cannot influence our sports team. But we can influence our health, by taking good care ourselves. We can influence our family, by being good spouses and parents. We can influence our religious observance by doing what the Torah tells us to do. We can influence our finances through hard work and industriousness.
In his book, Stephen Covey writes that successful people focus mainly on their circle of influence. They don’t waste their time or their attention on things they cannot control, such as the weather, sports and politics. They focus their attention on the things they control. This is a crucial key to success and achievement.
Focusing on the “forbidden tree,” on the problems over which we have no control, is futile, and also makes us miserable. There are so many other “trees,” so many things we can do and focus on to make our lives better, and this is what we should be doing.
One of the great pleasures of life for a father is teaching his child for the first time to swing a bat and hit a ball. As anyone who does this knows, the child needs to be repeatedly told, “Keep your eye on the ball!” If he doesn’t keep the eye on the ball, he is likely to swing and miss, or hit it weakly. If he keeps his eye on the ball, then he has a good chance of hitting it squarely.
This is true in baseball, and it is true in life generally. In order to “hit” the “ball,” to achieve and accomplish, we need to stay focused on the “ball” – on our goals. Of course, we need to be aware of what is going on in the community, in the broader Jewish community, in our country and in the world. But the bulk of our attention must be focused on our “circle of influence,” on the things we can control, on our efforts to realize our goals, fulfill our dreams, and achieve what we want to achieve in life.
Let us stop getting distracted by things we can’t control, and keep our eyes focused on what we can control, on all the “trees” which are accessible to us, all the countless things we can do to improve our lives and improve the world.