Parashat Vayigash tells the dramatic story of Yosef revealing his identity to his brothers, and sending them back home to bring their father, Yaakov, and their families to live in Egypt. Yosef sent with his brothers עגלות – wagons – to use to bring Yaakov and their belongings to Egypt.
The Midrash makes a famous comment about these עגלות, explaining that Yosef was sending Yaakov a subtle message about the last time they were together, before Yosef was sold by his brothers as a slave.
Their last time together, they learned the law of עגלה ערופה, which applies when a murder victim is found near a city. The leaders of a city hold a special ceremony involving a young calf (עגלה), to atone for the terrible crime. Yosef sent עגלות to his father as a hint to the last mitzvah they had learned together – the mitzvah of עגלה ערופה.
What is the connection between עגלה ערופה and the story of Yosef? Why did Yosef find it important to remind his father about this mitzvah?
The Rabbis explain that the leaders perform the עגלה ערופה ceremony to make a statement that they had not done anything which could have caused this murder to happen. Specifically, the Rabbis teach us, the leaders proclaim that they did not host this victim in their town and then let him travel outside the city on the dangerous roads without proper provisions and protection. If they had let this man leave without everything he needed, then they – the city’s leaders – would be responsible for his death.
The law of עגלה ערופה shows that “little things” have a way of becoming BIG things. Something as small as allowing a guest to leave without ensuring he has what he needs can result in his death, which means the loss of countless of generations that could have descended from him.
A stark example of this phenomenon is the Yosef story.
Imagine if Yosef had not told his brothers about his dreams of leading the family, if he had just kept this information to himself. They would not have hated him as much as they did, and so they would not have sold him as a slave. He would have stayed in Egypt, and the family would have been together all those years.
That little decision was anything but little. It had a drastic effect upon the family.
Imagine an ordinary sheet of paper. It’s razon thin. If you fold it once, it’s twice as thick, but still very thin. If you fold it again, it’s four times as thick as it was originally. Shocking as it sounds – if you could fold a sheet of paper 50 times, it would be so thick it would reach the moon!! Something as thin as a sheet of paper can, with just 50 folds, be thick enough to go to the moon.
The lesson for us is not to let the little things become big thing, to STOP FOLDING THE PAPER SO IT DOESN’T END UP ON THE MOON!!
So many families end up in shambles because somebody let a little thing become a big thing. An insensitive comment, an inappropriate word of criticism, an oversight, a bad decision – these things are actually quite small, but they can end up having devastating effects.
Let’s nip this process in the bud by not making a big deal out of it. We should be too busy with important and valuable matters to pay attention to these little things. We shouldn’t have the time to get worked up over a little insult. And if we don’t get worked up over it, then it will stay small, and never become something big.