If you’re like me, you often get the feeling that as soon as one problem in life is solved, at least one more – or perhaps several more – pop up. As soon as one broken thing in the house is finally fixed, the next thing breaks. As soon as one issue with a child is solved, another problem arises with a different child. As soon as we recover from a bad cold, we hurt our back. As soon as one hurdle at work is overcome, another one surfaces.
This is true beyond the family unit, as well. In the community, too, it seems like every time we get over one problem, we have another. And also in the country, and in the world. The news programs never run out of news. Whenever one major problem is solved, or fades from our attention, another major problem steps in and takes center stage.
We might say that life is like a very long game of Whac-A-Mole.
Whac-A-Mole is a game featured in just about every arcade and amusement park. An image of a mole pops up from the ground, and the player is supposed to shoot it. Once it is shot, another mole, or two, or maybe three, pop up, and the player is supposed to shoot them. The way it works is that the more moles the player shoots, the more pop up. And the player accumulates points by shooting the moles.
As depressing and cynical as this might sound, isn’t this game a pretty accurate depiction of what life is? A “mole” – a problem, or need – arises that we need to address, and as soon as we do, another one pops up. Or perhaps two. And once we shoot down the new ones, more pop up. And then more. It never ends.
Please don’t stop reading here. If you do, you might leave with the impression that my goal is to make you depressed, which is certainly not my intention.
Opening Our Clenched Fists
I would like to suggest that this phenomenon – which causes some people to feel depressed – is the subject of a well-known conversation that once took place between Rabbi Akiva and a hostile Roman officer.
The Talmud tells that a wicked Roman nobleman named Turnus Rufus used to engage Rabbi Akiva in philosophical debates, and on one occasion he turned to the great sage and asked, “If G-d loves and is concerned about the poor, then why doesn’t He just feed them?” A simple enough question. If G-d wants the poor to be cared for and fed, then why doesn’t He just feed them Himself?
Rabbi Akiva gave a very profound answer. He explained to Turnus Rufus that G-d leaves the poor unfed for our benefit – so we can earn merits by feeding them.
Rabbi Akiva’s response is not just about poverty. It’s about all the problems in our lives and in the world. G-d makes problems so that we can earn merit by working to solve them.
This concept becomes clearer in light of a famous passage in the Midrash which observes that when an infant is first born, his fists are tightly clenched, but when a person dies, his fists are open. When a person first enters this world, the Midrash explains, his natural instinct is to grab as much as he can and keep it all for himself. A newborn’s clenched fists symbolize the ingrained, natural selfishness with which each and every human being is born. Infants are incapable of thinking of anything other than their own needs. And even as a child grows, he finds it very difficult to compromise his own wishes and desires for the sake of anybody else. Hence the temper tantrums and outbursts of rage for which young children are known. When a person departs this world, however, his fists are open – he takes nothing with him. At the moment of death, the individual has absolutely nothing. Despite all his efforts, his fists are as empty as they were when he was first born.
Our goal in life, the Midrash teaches, is to open our firsts, to transform ourselves from takers to givers. Our primary challenge is to overcome our selfish instinct and become selfless and generous; to take our clenched fist, our natural tendency to grab and keep for ourselves, and turn it into an open hand, to always give and help.
This concept is indicated by a famous teaching in Pirkeh Avot: אם למדת תורה הרבה אל תחזיק טובה לעצמך, כי לכך נוצרת – “If you learned a lot of Torah, do not take pride in yourself, because it is for this that you were created.” The Ben Ish Hai comments that the word כך is comprised of two letter kaf’s – one closed (כ) and one open (ך). The word “kaf” (כף) in Hebrew means “hand,” and thus כך symbolizes the two different kinds of hands – the closed, clenched hand, and the open, giving hand. As such, the Ben Ish Hai explains the phrase לכך נוצרת to mean that we were created to transform our כ' to a ך' – our
clenched hand to an open hand. This is the purpose for which we were created; this is our job from the time we are born until we breathe our final breath.
This is why the Torah, in commanding us in Parashat Re’eh to give charity to the needy, emphasizes the role of the hand:
לא תאמץ את לבבך ולא תקפוץ את ידך מאחיך האביון. כי פתח תפתח את ידך לו...
Do not harden your heart and do not shut your hand from your brother, the pauper. Rather, you shall open your hand to him…
Charity is all about opening up our clenched hands, going through the lifelong process of become less selfish and more generous, of taking less and giving more. G-d made the world imperfect for this very reason – so we have people to help, communal problems to solve, and complex issues to navigate, all of which help us achieve the goal of life, to open our clenched fists, to be more giving.
The Communal Whac-A-Mole
In the context of this discussion, the Torah makes the following, especially powerful, statement, which is actually a prediction, one that has proven true for millennia: כי לא יחדל אביון מקרב הארץ – “For paupers will never cease from the midst of the land.”
The Torah here reveals to us the secret of the “Whac-A-Mole” phenomenon that we observed earlier. There will always be problems. There will always be people in need. There will always be crises of one kind or another. Whenever we solve one problem, many others will pop up. Why? Because this is the way we achieve the goal of life, the goal of פתח תפתח את ידך, of opening our hands, of becoming selfless, giving people. Strange as it may sound, we need problems popping up all around us, because this is the way we transition from an infant with a clenched fist to a noble, selfless, sensitive and giving person – which is precisely what life is about.
This might explain one of the great enigmas of modern life generally, and specifically, of our community – that the better we get at solving problems, the more problems there are to solve.
Think about it. We have wonderful organizations to help people dealing with drug addictions, far more than any before – and we have more people addicted to drugs than ever before. We have wonderful organizations and individuals who work to help singles meet and find marriage partners – and we have more singles than ever before. We have more young, dynamic, talented, devoted, and professionally-trained Rabbis than ever before reaching out to the youngsters in our community – and we have more youngsters abandoning religious practice than ever before. We have more outstanding, devoted, professional kallah teachers and marriage counselors than ever before – and we have more troubled and failed marriages than ever before. We have greater knowledge of ADHD and of how to treat it and manage it than ever before – and we have more youngsters struggling with ADHD than ever before. We have never been more connected to people than ever before, due to technology – and we have more lonely people than ever before. We have more wealthy people in the community donating charity than ever before – and we have more people facing serious financial trouble than ever before.
In short, our world has improved in thousands of ways, and yet we seem beset by so many intractable problems.
This is not meant to depress anyone, and it is certainly not, Heaven forbid, a knock on any of our community’s innumerable organizations, donors and volunteers that do the sacred work of helping people in need. Rather, this is meant to point out the reality of לא יחדל אביון מקרב הארץ, that G-d sees to it that we will always have work to do and problems to solve, because this is why we are here – to overcome our selfish instincts and look beyond our own needs and interests for the sake of other people.
We Don’t Have to Fix the World
One of the mistakes that we make in our noble idealism is that we think we need to “fix the world,” or “make the world a better place.” Many people convince themselves that they are capable of doing this, and that this is what is expected of them. And then they feel overwhelmed, disappointed and disheartened when they see all the “moles” that keep popping up all over the place.
We need to remember one simple thing. Fixing the world is something only Hashem can do. He decides what the world is going to look like. Our job is to be as giving and helpful as we can, to lend assistance whenever and in whichever way we are able to. Whether or not we knock off all the “moles” that keep popping up is not up to us.
One summer, a beloved student of mine suffered a terrible injury after diving into a pool. While there was no risk to his life, it was questionable whether or not he would ever be able to use his legs again. Our community, as it always does, banded together, helping the family and arranging special Torah classes and prayers for his full recovery.
As he was my student over the course of the previous year, I felt I should go visit him. I parked outside the hospital and called the boy’s brother. I explained that I very much wanted to see my student, but I did not want to impose if it was not a good time. The brother checked with the mother, who said she very much wanted me to come.
When I came into the room, the boy was sleeping. After a short while, he awoke and looked at me. I looked into his eyes, and tears streamed down both our faces. I told him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me, and that I was praying for his full recovery. I then wished his family well and left.
I didn’t fix or solve anything by visiting. His future, like all of our futures, is in Hashem’s hands. But I did what I felt I needed to do. I felt I needed to open my fist, to show love and support, to care deeply about a person in need. And I did.
כי לא יחדל אביון מקרב הארץ. We are not going to solve all the problems, and this should not be our goal. Our goal must be to constantly make ourselves better – more giving, more selfless and more sensitive. The goal of the countless hesed organizations in our community should not be to eradicate the problem that they were established to address. This won’t happen. Their goal must be to be giving and selfless, to open their hands and inspire everyone us to open their hands. And, as I and so many others can proudly attest, our community organizations realize this goal virtually each and every day.
וצדקה תציל ממות
A famous pasuk in Mishleh teaches וצדקה תציל ממות – “and charity saves from death.”
On one level, this means that charity saves the recipient from death. Poverty can be a form of “death.” A person living in a constant state of financial stress does not truly live. By relieving a person’s financial strain, one effectively restores his life. And, in reward, Hashem saves the donor from fatal decrees that had been issued against him.
But additionally, charity saves from death in the sense that it defines the essence of life. We earn the privilege of continuing to live if we fulfill the purpose for which we were put here in the first place – to open our hands, to give.
In the Book of Shemuel I we read the story of Naval, a wealthy man to whom David sent his men to ask for food and provisions while they were are in the run. Naval rudely and apathetically rejected their request and turned them away. Soon thereafter, G-d killed him. This was a man who lived with his fists tightly clenched, keeping everything he was given for himself, and refusing to share it with anybody. He did not deserve to live another day. Appropriately, the name נבל means “repugnant” or “disgraceful.” Living with clenched fists is disgraceful. It is a betrayal of the very purpose of life.
It hurts to see people who have so much but refuse to share what they have with others. We are created precisely for the purpose of פתוח תפתח את ידך, opening our hands and giving to other people. We are here not to make the world perfect – something only G-d can do – but rather to live with open hands, to help anyone we are capable of helping in any way we can.
Hashem is Our Shadow
There is a halachah which states that one should try to donate charity – even just a very small amount – before each prayer every weekday. Before we approach Hashem to ask for our needs and wishes to be fulfilled, it is proper to first give a bit of money to charity.
The reason is that if we open our hands to give, then Hashem will open His hand, so-to-speak, to give to us.
Another halachah states that we are to recite Ashreh (a section of Tehillim) three times each day. This special requirement is because of one particular pasuk in this chapter: פותח את ידיך ומשביע לכל חי רצון – “You open Your hands and satiate every living creature who wants.” When we pray, we acknowledge the fact that Hashem is פותח את ידיך ומשביע, that He provides our needs. And if we want Him to “open His hands” to give to us, then we must open our hands to give to others.
A pasuk in one of the most famous chapters of Tehillim (121) describes Hashem as our “shadow”: ה' שומריך ה' צלך על יד ימינך – “Hashem is your protector; Hashem is your shadow on your right side.” This has been explained to mean that G-d acts towards us in accordance with the way we act. When we walk in the sun and produce a shadow, the shadow does what we do. If we lift our right arm, the shadow’s right arm is raised. If we move our left leg, the shadow’s left leg moves. Hashem is our “shadow” in the sense that He mimics our conduct. The more generous and giving we are to other people, the more generous and giving He is to us. And the more passion, energy and zeal we invest in giving, the more He steps in to assist us in our efforts.
Everyone in our community has heard of the “Mitzvah Man” – a member of the community who at one point decided to place ads offering to run errands for people and do whatever favors they needed, free of charge, simply for the sake of doing a mitzvah. With time, his personal little enterprise grew and developed into a large and inspiring hesed operation, with hundreds of volunteers helping thousands of people in untold numbers of ways. Not only does the Mitzvah Man do incredible work, but he also has some of the most incredible stories to tell.
Once he was contacted by a family who desperately needed a car but could not afford one. He told them that he was unable to immediately provide them with a car, he would keep an eye out and see what he could do. As it so happened, the Aishel Shabbat organization was having a Chinese Auction, and one of the items being auctioned was a car. Mitzvah Man placed a ticket in the pot for the car on behalf of that family. Sure enough, he won, and he gave the car to that family.
Two years later, the exact same thing happened, again. There was a family that needed a car, and Mitzvah Man placed a bid for a car in Aishel’s Chinese Auction, and won.
When the Mitzvah Man organization held its own Chinese Auction, he placed a ticket in the pot which was worth $18,000, on behalf of a family enduring very difficult financial struggles. He told the girl who was about to draw the winning ticket to utter a prayer before choosing a ticket that she should choose his ticket. And she did.
When we do our best to open our hands and help, Hashem comes through and helps us succeed.
We Don’t Need Credit
Sometimes, however, we do not immediately see this “shadow” effect. Sometimes, we work very hard and do not see the results we want.
Have you ever come home late at night exasperated from a hard day, during which you invested great effort to help somebody, or to help the community, without feeling appreciated, or without feeling successful? Teachers very often put in long, hard hours preparing lesson plans and giving it their all in the classroom, and then come home wondering whether it was all worth it. Community volunteers give selflessly of their time to help institutions or organizations, and often hear not a single “thank you” and are left wondering whether their efforts are valuable. And, of course, parents invest countless hours on behalf of their children, and so often feel their work is unappreciated, or, in some cases, ineffective, as they watch their children follow a different direction from the one they wished they would follow.
We must remember that our job is פתוח תפתח את ידך – to open our hands, to be giving and helpful people. The results are up to Hashem. We are to give, and leave the rest to Him with complete faith and confidence in His decisions. It does not matter if anyone notices or appreciates our efforts, if we are given credit for our work, or if we see the fruits of our labor. This is all immaterial. What matters is that we are living with open fists, going through life for the purpose of giving, rather than taking.
Several years ago, a video circulated featuring Sir Nicholas Winton, a British man who arranged the rescue of 699 children from Czechoslovakia before the Holocaust. Remarkably, he never told anybody about what he did. His efforts remained a secret for many years, until 1988, when his wife discovered a detailed scrapbook in their attic with the names of all the children whom Mr. Winton rescued. The BBC aired a special program publicizing Mr. Winton’s efforts – and surprising him by having in the audience several dozen of the people whom he had saved.
This is a beautiful story that perfectly captures the point we are making. Life is supposed to be about giving, not taking. It is supposed to be about helping others, not only helping ourselves. If we live a life of giving, then it makes no difference whether or not our work is noticed and appreciated. Either way, we are fulfilling the purpose for which we were created.
We hope and pray that Hashem will always be our “shadow,” that He will bless all our efforts and all the work we do for our families, our community and for the world generally, and that He will, indeed, make this world a much better place for all of us.