The story is told of a man who wanted to join the Communist movement in Russia many years ago. He sat down with the official who conducted an interview.
The official said him, “I want you to understand what it means to be a Communist. It means that if you own a house, half of it is yours, and half is the government’s.”
The man nodded in consent.
“If you own a farm, half the farm belongs to you, and half belongs to the government.
“If you own horses, half the horses belong to you, and half to the government.
“If you own cows, half the cows belong to you, and half to the government.”
All throughout, the man nodded in agreement.
Then the official said, “If you own chickens, then half the chickens belong to you, and half to the government.”
“No!” the man shouted.
The official was stunned. “You’re ok giving us half your house, your farm, your horses and your cows – but not your chickens?!” he asked.
“Well,” the man replied, “chickens are the only thing I actually own.”
It’s easy to say that one is committed to something. But the real test comes when he has to make a real sacrifice for it, when he needs to give his “chickens” – whatever it is that means the most to him, for that cause.
The highlight of the Yom Kippur service in the Bet Ha’mikdash was a special pair of sacrifices, involving two goats. A lottery was held, determining that one goat was earmarked לה' – to be offered as a sacrifice in the Bet Ha’mikdash, and the other was earmarked לעזאזל – to be sent away to the desert and thrown off a cliff.
What is the message of these goats? Why are two goats brought, one offered as a korban, and the other sent away into the desolate wilderness?
This teaches us that if we want to come close to Hashem, we need to take something important to us and send it away. We need to be prepared to let go. We need to be prepared to sacrifice – to sacrifice something of value, something which we cherish.
The Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashanah teaches us the way to earn atonement for all our sins. It says that המעביר על מדותיו – if somebody gives in, if he acquiesces when he could have made a legitimate demand, or a legitimate argument, then all his sins are forgiven.
There is nothing more powerful than giving in, than letting go. There’s nothing more powerful than remaining silent and not saying anything when somebody does or says something offensive. There’s nothing more powerful than letting somebody else have something which you feel is rightfully yours, for the sake of peace. When we do this, we send a שעיר לעזאזל – a goat to desert, we let go of something very important to us. And when we do this, then we are able to come לה', to draw very close to our Creator.
A man who has a difficult relationship with his in-laws came to me one year before Rosh Hashanah to ask for advice, as his in-laws were going to be staying with him for the holiday.
I told him, “Every time your mother-in-law opens her mouth in a manner you find inappropriate, you close your mouth, and in your mind, pray to Hashem to help one of your children succeed. Every time your father-in-law is about to say something which makes you uncomfortable, close your mouth and pray for one of your accounts.”
If we want to draw close to Hashem and earn His blessing, we need to be able to give in, to sacrifice. And one of the most difficult, but most powerful, sacrifices we can make is sacrificing our ego, remaining silent when we have a legitimate reason to talk back.
Let’s make a commitment this Yom Kippur to not just be a little better – but to be prepared to make real sacrifices, and then we will truly make this new year something special, one of real growth and progress, when we become so much better than we were before.