עקיבא נחמתנו
Seeing Hope Within the Ruins
Halachah instructs, משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה – “When Av enters, we reduce our joy.” Significantly, we are not told to be sad and depressed during this period leading up to Tishah B’Av. Rather, we are supposed to “reduce our joy,” to be less happy.
Many people will find this startling, but it’s true: we are supposed to be happy during this time of year. That is correct – we are supposed to be happy, just not as happy as during the rest of the year.
This reflects a crucially important point that is relevant not only during this period, but also for every moment in our lives. We are supposed to find the good within the bad. We are never supposed to despair or feel crippled by sorrow. Even as we mourn the destruction of the Bet Ha’mikdash and our state of exile, we are to find hope and comfort.
Rabbi Akiva’s Laughter
We learn about this concept from the famous story told at the end of Masechet Makkot about Rabbi Akiva, who was walking towards Jerusalem with three distinguished colleagues. When they reached Har Ha’tzofim (Mount Scopus), which overlooks Har Ha’bayit (the Temple Mount), they looked upon the ruins of the Bet Ha’mikdash and saw a fox scurrying about in the area of the קודש הקדשים – the holiest chamber in the Bet Ha’mikdash. Rabbi Akiva’s colleagues immediately broke down in tears, while Rabbi Akiva himself laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” the three Rabbis asked Rabbi Akiva.
“Why are you weeping” Rabbi Akiva retorted.
“Why are we weeping?!” they asked, incredulously. “This is the site where nobody was ever allowed to enter, except the kohen gadol on Yom Kippur. And now it lay in ruins and is inhabited by foxes. Shall we not cry?”
“That’s exactly why I am laughing,” Rabbi Akiva said. He proceeded to cite a verse from the Nevi’im that connects two prophecies – the prophecy foreseeing the Bet Ha’mikdash being turned into rubble, and the prophecy foreseeing the time when Jerusalem will be rebuilt and its streets will be teaming with people, from young children to the elderly. Now that Rabbi Akiva saw the fulfillment of the first prophecy, he felt confident in the future fulfillment of the second prophecy. When his colleagues saw the ruins of the Bet Ha’mikdash, they wept in sorrow. But when Rabbi Akiva saw the ruins, he rejoiced over the prospects for a brighter, happier future for the Jewish People.
When Rabbi Akiva’s colleagues heard what he said, they responded, עקיבא נחמתנו, עקיבא נחמתנו – “Akiva you have consoled us; Akiva, you have consoled us.”
Rabbi Akiva mastered the art of seeing the positive in the most horrific situations. As we know from other famous stories found in the Talmud, he approached every circumstance with the mindset of כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד – “Everything G-d does is for the best.” Even in his dying moments, as he was being tortured to death by the Roman authorities for the crime of teaching Torah, he told his students that he rejoiced over the opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of serving the Almighty בכל נפשך – “with all your soul,” by sacrificing his life. Just as Rabbi Akiva saw hope of a glorious future in the ruins of the Bet Be’mikdash, so did he see a precious mitzvah opportunity as he was being executed.
Challenges as Opportunities
Living with this perspective – seeing challenges as precious opportunities – is an invaluable tool that we need to have to live a happy life.
I once came across a fascinating study that was done tracking the achievements of child prodigies when they became adults. The researchers followed a group of young geniuses – the kinds of kids who figure out advanced math and teach themselves languages on their own – into adulthood to see whether statistically, as a group, they achieved more than people who were average kids. They found, revealingly, that child prodigies, on the whole, do not create or innovate any more than ordinary folks. The reason is that while they have the advantage of a brilliant mind, they have the disadvantage of never having been challenged. These kids breeze through school without any difficulty, and so they don’t learn the vital skill of exertion and struggle. Kids who easily excel also have fewer opportunities to learn coping and problem-solving skills. Moreover, children who struggle academically are forced, by necessity, to develop other areas of interest in which they have natural talent and towards which they are more inclined. And so these kids enter adulthood with a valuable set of skills and experience that their prodigy friends never acquired.
This study is so important not just as a source of encouragement for academically challenged children and their parents, but for all people. It shows us that problems are good for us. Struggles are good for us. If life was always perfectly smooth, and we never confronted difficult problems, we would be handicapped and at a disadvantage, because problems give us opportunities and skills to achieve.
This is what Rabbi Akiva was telling his colleagues. All four sages looked upon the ruins of the Bet Ha’mikdash, but they did not all see the same thing. Three of them saw rubble and devastation, but Rabbi Akiva saw an opportunity. He saw the hurban (destruction) as an opportunity for the Jewish People to repent, improve, move forward, grow, and prepare themselves for the final redemption and the third Bet Ha’mikdash, which will be far more glorious than the first two.
When a couple gets divorced, it is, of course, a grueling and traumatic experience for everybody involved. But if they look at their situation with Rabbi Akiva’s perspective, they will see not just a broken family and broken hearts, but a precious opportunity – as opportunity to reflect, to learn about themselves and what they truly want, to learn about relationships, and to build something better. This is true not only of divorce, but also of a shaky marriage. In a strange way, couples struggling with their marriage have a distinct advantage over couples in a smooth marriage. Difficulties in a marriage force the couple of work harder on communication skills, to seek professional advice, and to expend greater efforts to make time for each other and to try to understand one another’s needs and preferences. These struggles can thus lead them to greater happiness and fulfillment than can be achieved by a couple that never had to go through this difficult process. Like the average student whose struggles equip him with vital life skills that will lead to future success, a couple’s marital struggles can be a precious opportunity to build a beautiful and fulfilling relationship.
I was once talking to a friend who had just recently lost his job. To my pleasant surprise, he was happy, upbeat and optimistic. I asked him why he seemed so happy considering his situation, and he said, “I now have so many opportunities open to me. I have a chance to start all over again. This is a great blessing.”
I recall another time when I was speaking with a certain wealthy individual who was telling me about how much he had struggled in the past. I mentioned to him that his past hardships are very likely what got him to where he is now. The financial struggles he faced forced him to find creative solutions and come up with strategies to stay afloat, and these vital skills are what enabled him to succeed.
This applies to health, as well. People who had never had to deal with serious health issues often fail to pay attention to their physical wellbeing, and are thus at greater risk for problems later on. People who have faced medical problems, however, are more conscious of their health and are more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle.
This must be our attitude throughout our lives. Problems are opportunities. When we feel our life is in “ruins,” we must remember what Rabbi Akiva saw in the ruins of the Bet Ha’mikdash – an opportunity to build something much greater.
תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלוקיך בשמחה
We are now in a period of mourning for the second Bet Ha’mikdash. Why was the second Bet Ha’mikdash destroyed? We have all heard countless times the Gemara’s comment (Yoma 9b) that it was destroyed because of the sin of שנאת חנם – baseless hatred among Jews. But there’s more.
Twice in the Torah – once in Parashat Behukotai and once in Parashat Ki-Tavo – the Torah describes in graphic and horrific detail the dreadful calamities that would befall the Jewish People for their violating Hashem’s laws. The Ramban explains that the first of these sections, in Parashat Behukotai, foresees the events that transpired during the destruction of the first Bet Ha’mikdash, whereas the second, in Parashat Ki-Tavo, refers to the events of the fall of the second Bet Ha’mikdash. Thus, the section in Parashat Ki-Tavo is where we should look to find the reason for our current state of exile. And in this section, we find the following astounding verse: תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלוקיך בשמחה ובטוב לבב – “…because you did not serve Hashem your God with joy and with a good heart” (Devarim 48:47). In other words, all the horrible tragedies described in this section – a section which is customarily read in the synagogue in a low voice, because these tragedies are so frightening – befell the Jewish People because they failed to observe the Torah בשמחה ובטוב לבב, with joy and enthusiasm.
Could this really be true? Is it really so bad to perform mitzvot without joy? And how do we explain the Gemara’s comment that our exile resulted from שנאת חנם?
The Shelah Ha’kadosh answered that the Bet Ha’mikdash was destroyed because of the people’s sins, but the people’s sins were the result of a lack of joy. If we are unhappy with the world, if we look around us and see only “ruins,” we’ll be lethargic and unmotivated. Happiness is the fuel we need to be productive. We will put in the effort to work and achieve only if we feel good about ourselves, our lives and our world. Without positive energy, we will go through life without any motivation to grow and accomplish.
This is why Rabbi Akiva’s message of hope and positivity is so vitally important. He never saw challenge; he saw only opportunities. If we can internalize this message, and see rubble as an opportunity for rebuilding rather than a source of sorrow, then we can retain our positive energy even under trying times.
עקיבא נחמתנו. This season is not only about mourning, but also about comfort and consolation, and about seeing the opportunities within the rubble.