The first pasuk of Parashat Devarim tells us that Moshe Rabbenu spoke to Beneh Yisrael at several different locations: במדבר, בערבה, מול סוף, בין פארן ובין תופל, ולבן וחצרות ודי-זהב. Rashi, based on earlier sources, explains that these are not actually names of places, but rather subtle references to serious sins which the people committed. Moshe here subtly chastised the people for the mistakes they made; in order to preserve their dignity, he listed names of places which were actually indirect allusions to their sins.
The expression די-זהב, the Gemara (Berachot 32a) explains, refers to the עגל הזהב – the golden calf. The word די means “enough,” and so ודי זהב alludes to the fact that Hashem had showered Beneh Yisrael with so much gold עד שאמרו די – “until they said: enough!” – and this is what led to the sin of the golden calf.
One of the commentators raised a simple question. Have we ever met anybody who thinks he has enough money? Don’t all people always want more, no matter how much they have? How was it possible that Beneh Yisrael said די – that they had enough, that they did not need any more?
This commentator’s answer is so important, and so relevant to each and every one of us.
He explains that in truth, we all would feel די, that we have enough, that we don’t need more than what we already have – but we don’t feel this way, because we see what other people have. When we see somebody with something we don’t have, we feel dissatisfied; we are upset that there’s something we should have but we don’t. Beneh Yisrael had gold in the desert because they brought the Egyptians’ riches with them when they left Egypt, and because the Egyptian horsemen had gold jewelry which washed ashore after the miracle of the splitting of the sea. The people all took the same amount, and so there was no discontentment. They felt they had enough, because they didn’t see anyone with something which they did not have.
There is a rampant lie going around in our community. This lie is being told by the size of some people’s houses. We pass by a large house, with a long, wide driveway, and a beautiful garden illuminated by a magnificent lighting system – and we assume that life in that house must be great. The house’s appearance tells us that the people who live in the house have a perfect life.
In some instances, of course, this is true. It is very possible that the house we see is the home of a happy family enjoying a beautiful life. But sometimes, the house is lying to us. The only thing we know for certain about the people living there is that they have a house that looks beautiful. That’s all. We know nothing about their health, about the relationship between the husband and wife, about the relationship between the kids, whether or not someone in the family is struggling with an addiction, or about the kind of pressure they are under to be able to afford this house. We know nothing.
Case in point, I was once speaking with a woman who lives in a magnificent, enormous house, and she was telling me that she wished she lived in a much smaller home. I was astonished. I asked her why she would want to give up her beautiful, large house. She explains, “You have no idea what goes on inside the house. I would love to have simplicity.”
Once again – we are certainly not insinuating that anyone with a large house is unhappy. This is of course not true. The point being made is that we don’t know. The fact that somebody has a larger home or a more expensive car, or goes on more lavish vacations, does not mean that he or she is living a better life than we do.
In order to experience ודי זהב, a genuine sense of contentment and satisfaction, we have to stop believing the lies that our brains tell us. Our brains try to get us upset and frustrated by convincing us that other people have it better than we do, that they’re living the right way and we aren’t. This is simply a lie. It isn’t true. If we liked our house before we saw the house up the block, then we should like our house after we saw the house up the block. It is only if we lie to ourselves, telling ourselves that the person up the block must be happier than we are, that we will feel down and upset.
Let’s stop these lies. ודי זהב. We have enough. Our lives are good. Sure, there are things missing, there are things that we want that we don’t have. But this doesn’t mean we need to be upset or frustrated. We can feel satisfied – as long as we stick to the truth, and stop lying to ourselves.